Ah Summer '16...

Shirt: Ivy & Leo, Shorts and Flip flops: Old Navy, Purse: Target, Cross: Jared

YO YO YO!!!!!
Long time, no blog. It’s been so long in fact that the other day I mentioned that I wrote a blog and felt like a damn liar.
SO much has happened in the months since I last checked in so I’ll start in chronological order.
I had surgery in May. Actually the day after my last post, on May 5th. More specifically, I got a breast reduction. YUP. True story. 
I had wanted one for over 20 years. Ever since I got boobs. Because when I got them… I GOT them! When I went in for surgery I was an “E”. I mean…. I bought DDD bras because I could not bring myself to actually buy an “E” bra, but that’s exactly what I was. <<Pretty sure spilling out of one size means you should actually size up.>> Most of the people in my life had NO idea I was that "large and in charge" because I NEVER left the house without a minimizer bra on (yes, those are real things and they SUCK) and if I was working out I would wear 2-3 sports bras at one time. I always joked that I stored half of my boobs under my armpits. I never really “lead” with them if you know what I am saying. I didn’t wear push-up bras or enhancing bras. Shiiit, I never even really wore a normal bra for fear that I would look like Dolly Parton. I hated them. Always had. 
Maybe you don’t care about my breast reduction, but maybe you do. Maybe you too have always wanted one or know someone who does. Maybe your back hurts, your posture suffers, you don’t feel “sexy”, they are in the way, you hate having to wear a bra that feels more like a mid-century torture device.  
So… here are a few things you should know.
#1. It is WAAAAAAAAAY more intense than getting breast implants (or so my doctor told me). 
I was in surgery for over 5 hours!!
#2. Recovery is NO joke. 
You can barely do anything but exist for a while because you are so sore.
#3. Make sure you get a pain medication you can tolerate. 
I took ONE dose of my narcotics right after surgery and that was it. For a month  I took ibuprofen and extra-strength Tylonol. I can’t handle narcotics (I get dizzy, nauseous, feel faint) but I bet they would have been tremendously helpful with pain management had I been able too.
#4. Strengthen your core. 
Workout before surgery and get strong. Had it not been for my regular Pilates practice I would have been even more miserable than I was. You can’t put any pressure on your elbows or hands to get into or out of bed. Your upper body is basically useless so your core is going to do all of the work for a while.
#5. Let people help you. There were days that started okay for me then I would be FLAT on my back in insane amounts of pain after a few hours. You need to let people help you. << A big thank you to everyone who helped me and checked in on me. Especially Amanda D., Elizabeth H. and my Manfriend. >>
#6. Make sure you REALLY want it. 
It’s painful, expensive AF (if insurance won’t cover it), takes a lot of time to recover, takes you out of your normal life, impacts your  everyday life for a while, there are stitches, blood, scabs, scars and still… 3 months post-op it’s not comfortable for me to lie on my side or on my stomach to sleep. I had to learn to sleep on my back which was MIIIIIISERABLE.
Those are some points to consider. 
Would I do it all over again? Hell yes. My breasts aren’t “small” afterwards but they  fit me. They don’t plummet to my waist anymore when I take my bra off. I can see my torso for the first time in my life. I can sit and stand up straight w/o feeling like I’m drawing unwanted attention to chest. I can work out with more ease and my bras don’t have to have 4 clasps on them with straps the width of a child's forearm. Yes, ma'am. I would daaaayyyum sure do it all over again.
June was INNNNNNNNcredible. 
We traveled to Vegas (I was still REALLY sore, only 4 weeks out from surgery), I visited home to see my family in NY, we went on an all-expenses-paid trip to the most beautiful place I have ever been in my whole, entire life, Banff Springs in Calgary Canada (I earned that trip for us through my side-gig with Rodan + Fields) AND ………wait for it………. while I was in NY with my family…. I got engaged!!!! 
<<If we know each other in real life, are connected on social media, or if you’ve been reading this blog for a while you have heard me refer to my “Manfriend”. >> We have been together for over 6 years. I was completely shocked by the proposal. He had it all planned to do in Charlotte, then like an ASSHOLE I booked myself a plane ticket to New York for that exact same weekend. I didn’t ask him to come (I didn’t assume a baby shower, maternity photos and skincare – which is what I was going for -  would be a rip-roaring good time for him). Little did I know that he had planned the proposal, had my friend invite me to a girl’s night out for that Saturday night (so I would save the date and not plan over it), rested easy when he saw that I put “GNO”  on my calendar then FREAKED out when I erased it two weeks later and wrote instead… “flying to NY”. He had to re-work his entire plan. He ended up flying to NY a day after me, hiding out at my uncle's house, getting my local family together last-minute and doing it in front of everyone. I was completely shocked. IT.WAS.AWESOME. I was in tears, sobbing like a child. 
We have been through a lot in 6 years, as individuals and as a couple and although in the last few years I realized that I didn’t “need” marriage, that happiness was more than enough…. I am overjoyed and so incredibly thankful. I am here to tell you...  no matter what has happened to you, no matter how your life has derailed from your original plans, no matter how sad or broken you feel, if you focus on creating and (re)building the best version of yourself you will, eventually, be happy. Once you are happy and fulfilled… the minute you don’t “need” something or someone. The moment you give up the idea that you can “control” it all… something magical will happen. Whether it’s a relationship, a job, an opportunity, whatever it is. That sounds corny, I know, but I truly believe it and know it to be true.
#3. JULY: 
Work, work, work, work, work (…. I hope you said that to the tune of the Rihanna song cause that’s how I meant it). 
Whoa. July was BACK TO REALITY. I worked my fool a$$ off in July. No more days off from my corporate job, I went back to teaching Pilates (after 8 weeks off after surgery), my Rodan + Fields business had its biggest month yet, I had 3 photography sessions with families and spen tcountless hours editing AND I finally sold and closed on my townhome. July was a blur and although I was feeling insanely happy from vacations and an engagement and I was SUPER happy to be back teaching Pilates I’m not going to lie… there was a bit of a hangover from all of it. June was blissful. I was so FKing happy that it scared the life out of me. In July fear overtook my head. I felt almost like the bottom was going to fall out. Like…. "wait... other people get this much happiness, but not me". My mind got the best of me and I started to get down and really anxious in July. I started focusing on my fears instead of my countless blessings. I say that not to be a buzz-kill but to keep it real. I think it’s important to mention.
With social media it’s easy to think that everyone else is SUPER happy; especially in the summer. There are cookouts, and vacations, lake days, beach trips, new houses, kids  out for the summer, your teacher friends posting about how they don’t have to work, people celebrating and sharing pictures of parties, engagement announcements, weddings, pregnancies, births, kids going to college, etc. It’s all awesome, but WHOA can it trap you?!?!  You start to compare your real, everyday life with everyone else's highlight reel. It can make you feel like crap. 
There is no such thing as perfect and the person who seems to “have it all” has usually come out of some MAJOR SHIT, works REALLY hard, has failed a million times, gets scared, nervous, anxious and discouraged just like everyone else. We all have “seasons” in our lives. Some are incredible. Blissful. Some are terrifying. Others are full of change and upheaval. Once in a while they are calm and peaceful. Many times they are stressful, depressing, disappointing and nerve-wracking. I know I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, but I thought maybe you (like me) could use reminding. Count your own blessings instead of everyone else’s. You have no idea the path they have traveled or what it took for them to get where they are. Congratulate people when they are high and love them when they are low, but don't compare.  Comparison is the thief of joy, man. 
The thief of joy. 


Dear, Precious Girl...

Shoes: Aldo, Jeans: Old Navy, Shirt: Versona, Earrings: Lotus, Bracelets: Gifts (thank you, Barb), Gemstone Ring: LeVian (my To: Me, From: Me 30th bday present)

Hey, Hey, Hey... long time, no "see".

I haven't blogged in 3 whole months!! Daaaayyyyyyuuummm.

In part because I have been busy with other things. Also (and probably in larger part due to the fact that) until it gets warm out, I don't give a shit about getting dressed. I hate fall/winter clothes. I live in yoga pants and resent any and every occasion that forces me out of them. Now that it's heating up though (and my insides are coming back to life), I'm back.

In the time that I wasn't blogging I had two interactions that made me sit back and think about the content of today's post.

#1. I met a young girl who lives across the street from my family in my hometown. She is in high school. She is  athletic, talented, so pretty and sensitive. I knew all of those things the moment I met her. I do not know her well, but I felt very connected to her immediately.

#2. I spent time with my sister-in-law's niece who is a young teenager. She is still figuring herself out, stuck somewhere between a child and becoming a woman and dealing with other girls in school who aren't always nice to her. She too is sweet, smart and beautiful.

I saw a little bit of my younger self in both of these sweet girls and I got to thinking about a couple of things.

#1. Time passes SO quickly. It blows my mind to think that I am more than 20 years older than these girls. The days are long, but GOT damn the years are short.

#2. Things seem so BIG when you are in the middle of them. Your whole life is whatever town you live in, the school you go to, the boy or girl who has broken your heart and your insecurities; it is insanely difficult to see your life beyond its current state.

So I got to thinking about what I wish I knew when I was a teenager, or maybe things I would go back and tell my younger self, or things I would tell my daughter if I had one.

1. Don't ever step foot into a tanning bed. You look ridiculous with a tan in the winter and it will catch up with you. Believe it or not, you will turn 30, 40, 50, etc.

2. Please don't smoke.

3. Thank your parents for paying your bills, for feeding you, for going to your games/plays/etc and for carting your ass around.

4. Social Media... share, relate, but don't air your dirty laundry and please, for God's sake... keep your ass covered. 

5. There is this thing called "the cloud" and nothing you post online or send is ever really "gone".

6. Don't talk shit about people. If you would not say it to their face, or want it said about you... zip it.

7. EVERYone has insecurities. Remember that when you think you are alone.

8. Don't slouch (literally or figuratively). Train yourself to stand up straight and walk tall. Carry yourself with confidence. ALWAYS.

9. Exercise for strength not to punish your body.

10. What you think, you become. That is real shit, so I will say it again. WHAT YOU THINK, YOU BECOME.

11. Read. Always be able to answer when someone asks... "Read any good books lately?"

12. Floss.

13. Jealousy and envy are a waste of your precious time and energy. If you are jealous of someone else, it means you are busy counting their blessings and not yours. Knock it off.

14. Everything changes. Be thankful when things are good and stay hopeful when things are not so good.

15. Don't date a person who says shit like... "Don't ever cut your hair."

16. Support your friends.

17. Don't you ever, ever, stop hanging out with your girlfriends when you start dating someone. Do NOT be that girl. EVER. Ever. Ever.

18. Make your own money. Always.

19. Smile. You'll feel better. 

20. Drinking too much is not cute.

21. Always have more than one income stream, always.

22. Don't be afraid to reinvent yourself.

23. Wear what you want to wear.

24. Break up with people who aren't good for you. Partners, friends, whatever. Life is short.

25. Live by yourself at least once in your life.

26. Be the person who sees the good in people.

27. People will show you how they feel about you. Actions trump words. Always.

28. Travel.

29. You will get your heartbroken and you will be okay. Eventually.

30. Trust your gut. If it "feels" wrong, it probably is.

31. You can love yourself and work on yourself at the same time. 

32. Explore LOTS of different things.

33. If you're good at something, help other people with it. If you are not, ask for help.

34. Most of the time, happiness is a choice. If you're always feeling sorry for yourself you will live an unhappy life. Guaranteed.

35. This too shall pass.

36. You will attract what you believe yourself to be. Water seeks it's own level. Be your best-self and you will attract someone who thinks just as highly of you. 

37. If you are thinking something nice about someone, say it. They may really need to hear it.

38. Pay your bills first.

39. Don't over-pluck your eyebrows.

40. Don't be afraid to call yourself a feminist. A secure man should not be surprised that you think yourself equal. There are beautiful differences in the sexes, but you should damn sure get paid for doing the same work.

41. Make sure your friends don't all look, act and think like you.

42. There will always be people with more than you and people with less.

43. Read, watch and do things that force you to think.

44. Not everyone is for you and you are not for everyone and that is perfectly okay.

45. Understand that you are much, much more than your body.

46. Develop your mind, love people with your huge heart and be an interesting person to talk to. 

47. Eat more plants.

48. If someone you are in a romantic relationship with keeps you a secret, move on. 

49. Don't have a baby with someone if you wouldn't want that baby to grow up to be just like their father (or mother).

50. Don't put yourself into a box. You can own 47 red lipsticks, curl your hair, dead lift twice your body weight, bake muffins and know how to replace an engine in a car. There are no "boy" things or "girl" things... there are only things.

51. Not everyone gives and receives love the same way.

52. Your time on this earth is precious. Don't waste it wishing you were different. Figure out who you want to be and create habits that get you closer to your goals. You are what you repeatedly do.

53. You are remarkable.

54. Social media is a highlight reel. That's it.

55. Fight the urge to shrink.

56. Work hard at something you love. 

57. Alcohol and drugs will not solve your problems, but they will most definitely add to them.

58. Bullies usually hate themselves, not you.

59. You can be whatever you want. Live wherever you want. Do whatever you want.

60. Be content, but do not settle. Baby girl... do NOT settle.

61. The things that break your heart are not accidents. Stand up for what breaks your heart... women's issues, animals, children. Those things are the things God placed delicately on your soul and they are not by accident.

62. Do not apologize for being sensitive. Sensitivity and strength are not mutually exclusive. 

63. Pray and give thanks.

64. Don't waste your life dieting. Worry more about losing yourself than you worry about losing weight. 

65. Call your grandparents.

66. For the sake of all things holy, put your phone down when you're talking to people.

67. It ain't over til it's over.

On any given day you can wake up and decide to write your own story. It does not matter what happened to you, what your parents did or did not do, if you had money or were flat broke. It does not matter what town you are from, what mistakes you learned from, who doubted you, or who talked shit about you. Your life is yours. Do NOT let anyone else's opinion of you dictate how you show up in it. You are given one, single, precious life. Make yourself proud, mama. Make yourself so fucking proud.  


What's your "WHY"?

Hola Mamacitas!

I'm fresh off a trip home to New York where the manfriend and I spent a few days with my family. I got a lot packed into a few days! I went up to help my cousin launch her Rodan + Fields business last Thursday and stayed until Sunday afternoon. While we were there I put on a presentation for my cousin, hung out with my dad, stepmom and brothers... celebrated my mom's birthday a few days early, celebrated my grandmother's 90th birthday, ate too much, hosted an R+F brunch at my SIL's house and busted my ever-loving ass to qualify for and win a R+F leadership trip/vacation to a resort in June.

I know that I just mentioned Rodan + Fields 3 times in the previous paragraph, but stay with me (because that isn't even the most annoying part). The most annoying part is still ahead.

As many of you know, I decided this past summer to start my own Rodan + Fields business. It's not something I ever saw myself doing, but it has turned into one of the best parts of my life (FO REAL). As part of leadership training I am going through, I was asked to really dig into my "WHY".

Your "WHY" is basically the reason why you would join a direct sales company, run the risk that people are going to talk shit about you, run the risk that you'll "fail", put one more commitment of time, energy and money on your plate AND commit to learning an entirely new business? What is going to make you work when you don't want to? What is going to make you get up when you fall? Go the exta mile when you are tired, disheartened, nervous, scared, etc?

Doing that "assignment"... writing out my try "WHY" was pretty friggin eye opening for me. It's a bit personal (obviously) but I am sharing because it made me realize that I have a reason to work really hard and do more than I ever thought I was capable of... and once I got to the heart of those reasons, they inspired the shit out of me. Maybe your "WHY" has nothing to do with working a business, but if you have ever desired to do, have, or experience "more", then you have to figure out what the hell is going to inspire you to work to get it. We all know that coasting (and bitching about being unhappy) is actually a hell of a lot easier than doing the trench work that is involved in changing.


I keep inspirational quotes all around me; written on sticky notes by my nightstand, on my bathroom mirror, on my refrigerator, and pinned to a cork board at my office. They say things like:
  • “Life is not about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself.”
  • “It’s never too late to live the life you have imagined.”
  • “Self-made or never made.”
  • “What is it that you plan to do with your one, precious life?”
I keep these phrases within view so that I am constantly reminded to live. Truly live. To be brave, to take chances, and to focus on what is important to me.

In 2011 I got spinal meningitis during the only 6-month period of my life that I was uninsured. I was acting as a consultant with my current company and I got sick. Really sick. I have never in my life been in that much pain. I was taken to Urgent Care, a stand alone ER, then rushed in an ambulance to the hospital. My manfriend held me up as a doctor gave me a spinal tap and there I stayed, in the hospital, for a while. Drugs, tests, scans, etc. My "manfriend" had to call my family and tell them that the doctors were saying I may not make it and that they may not be able to make the trip from NY to NC in time to see me before I died. It was terrifying. When the entire ordeal was over I was out of work for over a month and over $54,500 in medical debt. 

I make a good living from my corporate job but it has not been enough to get me out of this crushing debt. 
Being in debt is an incredibly heavy weight to carry and it limits the choices you have in life so I needed to get out from under it. (I spent 4 years trying to get out of it organically... by going to work, saving money and paying it down every month and I was only half way through it.)


Ever since I got sick I am incredibly sensitive to wasting my life. I do not want to wake up one day and realize that I did what I was "supposed" to do but not what I wanted to do. I want to create an exciting like. One that gives me the opportunity to help other men and women have a chance to live on their own terms. One that gives me security in knowing that I am taken care of. One that allows me to see the world. Give back. One that allows me to do things for the man I love. One that makes my parents, my brothers and extended family proud of me. 

Because I am the daughter of teenage parents. My mom and dad split when I was 2 but I grew up watching both of them work all of the time. My mom would work days, evenings, nights, holidays, weekends, etc. She was always working. My dad had different jobs. He is a hustler; always working a day job and then coming home at night and working on a side gig. Ever since I was a small child I have been aware of money. It made me anxious, nervous, terrified. Talking about it gave me a stomach ache. I have vivid memories of coming into the kitchen in the middle of the night and my mother sobbing over a pile of unpaid bills. If we keep the lights on this month we may be without a phone for a while. I'm not saying we had it worse than everyone else, I am just saying that money was ALWAYS a source of anxiety. Also... I have always felt like I wanted to prove people wrong. When kids get pregnant at 15 and 17 most people don't have high hopes for them or their baby. I wanted to be the exception to the rule, but part of me wondered, "who am I to live a life of adventure and abundance"??? I should be content with "enough" and at least that way I wouldn't run the risk of publically failing at anything. 

I have since decided to give ZERO fuks about "publicly failing" and THAT decision has made all the difference. 

Authenticity, a genuine desire for all women to feel confident and beautiful, and opportunity...that is what Rodan and Fields represents to me. That is what I will share. My hope is to spread the word so far and wide that eventually I can work on my own terms, run my R+F business, teach Pilates, travel the world with the man I love and live a life I am proud of. One that is a little non-conventional requires a bit of bravery and leaves me with no regrets. 

If you've ever wanted something really badly but not been able to accomplish it, maybe it's in part due to the fact that you have never peeled back all of the emotional layers of the excuses you're making and dug down, deep for your "WHY"? Putting mine on paper and out into the universe has helped motivate me. Maybe it will help you too??

What's your "WHY"? 


John Snow and New Year's Resolutions

All my clothes are from Target and my booties are from the mall, 2 years ago - I forget where.

I felt very "Game of Thrones" in this cloak.

Like I had just made a kill and threw the pelt around my neck, or that I was layering up for the long journey ahead in the freezing tundra like John Snow. I found this sweater-thing at Target (no shock there). I like wearing throws like this in the winter because I get hot easily and with this I'm not committed to keeping a sweater on all day. I have a short sleeved t-shirt on under this for when the inevitable happens... I burn up, beads of sweat start forming on my upper lip and I want to murder everything moving because I am fkng overheating. < typical >


Welcome to 2016, Mamacitas!!!

We are in a brand new year. I just love that. If you've been reading this blog for a while you know that I dig new chapters, resolutions, challenges, goals and new beginnings. I truly believe that any day you are fortunate enough to wake up in the morning is a chance to make a new ending, craft a new story or create a new life for yourself. Any day will work, but there is something really special about a new calendar year. I know it sounds cheesy, but it can be the beginning of anything you want and THAT is encouraging.

I love new years and I love resolutions. I hear a lot of people talking shit about those who take on resolutions (especially resolutions about health and wellness)... like all of the comments about the gym being packed. Bitching because the bench press is taken by a newbie.  I hate that shit. Shut up. Instead of acting like you're better than someone else because you've been committed to something for longer than they have, how about supporting them in what is never an easy task... changing their lives. I love when the gym is packed.  I love when people are hopeful, inspired and motivated. Smile at someone, say hello. And if you can't bring yourself to do that... at least don't be a dick, man. Life is hard enough.

Speaking of a new year... 

I'm going to make some changes from last year.

Don't get me wrong... I had a great year. I learned a ton, accomplished almost everything I had set out to do the January before, and I even started a new business. I felt very accomplished, but you know that else I felt???????


Really, really friggin' tired.
(And although there is some annoying meme going around FB that says that people w/o children don't know what tired is.... I strongly disagree. I was fking exhausted.)

So tired that I found myself preoccupied by exhaustion. I felt it all of the time. Every.Day.

It's my own fault. I have a tendency to go from 0 to 100 real quick << real fkng quick>>.

Last year I...
  • Took 100 Pure Barre classes
  • Completed my Nutrition Program and became a Certified Health Coach
  • Started a new teaching job at Synergy Yoga
  • Taught Pilates and PiYo
  • Got certified to teach and then taught P90X
  • I taught private Pilates lessons that forced me to set my alarm for 4:10AM on some work days
  • I worked my full time job in Corporate America
  • I started my own Rodan + Fields skincare business

Some days I would teach a private lesson at 5am, drive home to get ready for work, work from 8:30am to 5:00pm, teach a Pilates group at 5:30, then drive 20 minutes to teach a bootcamp at 6:30pm FOLLOWED by a Pilates class that finished at 8:45pm getting me home and starting dinner at 9:15pm. THEN after dinner, at  9:45PM I would start working my Rodan + Fields business. My day started before 5AM and ended after 9PM.

A 9AM-5PM job is enough, but a 5AM to 9PM!?!?!?!?! Shhhhhiiiiiittttttt?!

Now, I'm not saying that was my schedule everyday, but I am saying that I cannot go another year with a similar schedule. That fact has forced me to take a long, hard look at what I want  (and don't want) out of the next 12 months.

I'm going to work on balance. Balancing my personal health/personal relationships/my corporate job/my R+F business/teaching and having a social life. Sometimes you need to step back, stop and reevaluate. Hustle is great, but too much of a good thing can bite you in the ass.

This year I am going to make more time to relax... read... go on dates with my Manfriend... share meals with my girlfriends... go home to visit my family in NY and have them come to Charlotte... stroll aimlessly around town on a Saturday afternoon in the summer... do my laundry before it's a pile so high that it stands eye level and stares back at me.. be a student in more classes and teach a little less.

I'm still going to work my ass off (because I have some monster goals to meet before I am 40) but I am going to do it in a way that doesn't leave me strung out and miserable.

Focus and Balance are my words for 2016. What are yours?


5 people...

I swear to you that when I saw this cape in Target a few weeks ago everything around me went silent. Then small, adorable birds and woodland creatures came out of nowhere. They started singing, picked this cloak off it's hanger and brought it to me. They dressed me in it as I spun around slowly letting it fly around me in a swirl of happiness. You know... just like when the mice and Fairy Godmother dressed Cinderella for the ball. It was magic. Fking magic I tell ya. I love this thing. What a score. << I friggin' love Target.>>

On another note...

Do you remember when you were a kid and adults would caution you about your friends? Like... "be careful who you hang out with... It doesn't matter if YOU weren't doing anything wrong... Guilt by association... etc, etc."I used to think that was a crock of crap. "I'm my own person, blah, blah, blah... I like my friends, but that doesn't mean if Johnny jumped off a bridge I would too."

As an adult though, I have changed my tune a bit. I buy into that whole, "be careful who you hang out/associate with" thing a lot more than I ever used to when I was a young punk. Maybe it's all of the self-help/motivational stuff I read and listen to, but I keep hearing over and over (from a different source every time I turn around) that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Let that shit sink in.

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. 

(Oh, and you're kids don't count. Although, I'd assume you'd want to be a pretty bad-ass example for them if they are spending a lot of time with you.)

That can be a pretty eye-opening statement if you really digest it. It can make you think about a lot.

Number one... who are "your people"?
Number two... what are they like?

Are they people you want to emulate? People who have good energy? Positive people?

Are they negative, fear-mongering, condemning, racist, sexist, uneducated (and I don't mean schooled... I mean are they informed)?

Do they give a damn about anyone but themselves or just people who look just like them, worship like them and are in the same socio-ecnomic class?

Are they wealthy? Healthy? Fit? Motivated?

Do they give? Are they "takers"? Hypochondriacs? Always playing the victim card? Complaining about their lot in life? Bitching?

Do they give grace to themselves but judge the shit out of everyone else? 

Do they have goals? Dreams? Are they successful? Happy? Do they talk mostly about other people or do they talk about ideas?

Are they always worried? Self- conscious? Fearing the worst? Sick?

Do they do a whole HEAP of talking, but rarely take action? Do they commit to anything? Grow?
Take chances? Live? Or just exist?

Do they encourage or are they more comfortable talking trash? Are they supportive? Jealous? Haters or Lovers?

That's some big shit. It matters. It's not always easy to see ourselves, but we can get a pretty accurate picture (good or bad) by looking at the people in our lives. The people we see and/or talk to a lot. For many of us those are our partners, spouses, girl/boyfriends. They are our "work" friends and our "after-work" friends. They are the people we chat with on the phone, on social media, the people we make plans with, our families.

It's been said that water seeks it's own level and as I get older the more I believe that to be true. I know there is power in association. If I'm around skeptical, shitty, unmotivated people who complain a lot... it drains me, man; BUT... if I'm around exceptional, driven, loving, supportive, fun, healthy people I am energized. Inspired. Encouraged.

I have pretty limited free time (like almost everyone else I know) so I'm very deliberate about who I spend it with. It's important to protect your energy.

It might be worth it to take a good, hard look at the people in your life because those are the people you get lumped in with. Those are the people you are making memories with. Those are the people you are comfortable with for a reason.

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

That shit get DEEP.