Big Southern Hats & A Throwback Photo

Romper: LOTUS, Hat: Ralph Lauren, Shoes: Some random street shop in NYC, Watch: MK, Phone Case: Mobilexpressions from Target, Necklace: Stella & Dot

1. So...yeah...I have a hat on in these pictures, and yes, I really wore it around. I got it a few years ago for a "Hats & Heels" fundraising event and then wore it a month later for a "Hats & Heels" themed bridal shower. What can I say? Southern women love their hats (it's a quality about Southern women that I love..."Bless their hearts" <only chicks South of the Mason-Dixon line will get that>). This thing has sat on the top shelf of the closet in my guest room since August of 2010, but everytime I go to donate it...I just can't bring myself to do it. It's one of those items that makes me think..."What if I want to wear it again? What if I need to wear it again? Well, I did it. I wore it again. It's practical...it keeps the sun out of my eyes, covers up a bad hair day (or a forehead zit), and it's fun. When you put a hat on like this, you can't help but be in a good mood. You have a floppy brim in your face and a huge flower on your head. It is impossible to take yourself too seriously with all of that going on. So, if you ever get the chance, buy and wear a floppy hat for the hell of it. You won't regret it. Well...you might, but hey, it probably won't be the most embarrassing thing you have ever done.

2. Speaking of embarrassing, some of my girlfriends from High School have been posting throwback pictures on Facebook lately. I'll admit it, I am an "UNTAG"ER (especially when someone posts old pictures)...I will untag a photo so fast that it will make your head spin. Seriously, if it were an Olympic sport...I'd be wearing GOLD around my neck on a patriotic-themed ribbon! Don't get me wrong, I loved High School. I had great friends, made a ton of memories, and had a boyfriend (who I adored). He was hot, athletic, artistic, 2 years older, and adored me (when we weren't in some ridiculous high-school argument). We were together (on and off) from the time I was 13-18 yrs old. I thought he was beautiful (and I spent a lot of time wondering what on EARTH he saw in me). I hated the way I looked, but most of all I hate looking at those photos (or being tagged in them), because I HATE the way I felt about myself back then. In HS, I was nice, and fun, but (looking back...I think) I felt like I had to be. Even if I wanted to be a B!$%H I thought that was a luxury only pretty, skinny girls had. If I was in a bad mood, hurt, embarrassed, or angry, you'd rarely know it. I was REALLY insecure, but most of the time I hid it. I was chubby, had MAJOR body image issues (including the size of my forehead, eyebrows, the zits on my face, braces on my teeth, my waistline <or lack thereof>, and my big boobs <they just made me feel fat and frumpy>). I am not alone. I know that now...but looking around those halls back then, all I saw were the girls I wanted to be. I used to actually think that pretty, skinny girls had NO problems. I thought that, because MY mind was consumed by negative thoughts about my body and face, so if you looked like them, your mind must be free to think about awesome things...like, "what am I going to wear today"? I used to think about how fun it would be if you could "enjoy" getting dressed. I hated getting dressed. I wore big t-shirts (layering 2 at a time so they didn't cling to my fat rolls as easily), big jeans, over-sized sweaters, long hippie skirts, and...(well, that about covers it). Sometimes when I talk about that stuff with friends that I have now, they look at me like..."Shut up...you were not like that...you love clothes, and wear whatever you want. Good God, you have a blog full of pictures of yourself. You are NOT nor were you EVER self-conscious...I just can't see it". Well....let me tell you...I got to a point where I was SICK of feeling that way. I stopped thinking "who am I to wear that, or say that, or feel that, or BE that" and I started just slowly, creating my own definition for myself. It's a pretty powerful thing knowing that you can CHOOSE to do that at anytime. You just have to "fake it 'til you make it". I used to have to make a conscious effort to walk tall...now I just do it. I am still not "skinny" (but I no longer want to be either), I still get zits, I still hate my boobs half the time, and I still get "pretty girl envy", but now (for the most part) I am free. This blog is a way to share, to show that fashion is for normal chicks, and hopefully to inspire some good feeling or idea. I hope it does not come off as some mindless, random girl just posting pictures of outfits. I hope it does a bit more than that. Actually, whatever...I hope it does whateverthehellitis that you want it to do. Wow...that got a lot deeper than I intended. 

So, in case you were wondering...here it is...

Age 16: Half a lifetime ago...crazy to think about