When life is hard, you have to change...

Pants: Express, Sweater: Old Navy, Scarf: ASOS, Shoes: Off Broadway, Belt: Target

1. Didn't want to do my hair this particular day (shocker, I know). So... I twisted it back wet, drenched in coconut oil (to condition it) and went on my merry way. I wore it this way for 3 days. #lazy I also realized while I was posting these pictures that this 'do makes me look weirdly like the wife of The Russian in Rocky IV. Remember her? Hahahahaa...

2. It was cold out. I wanted to wear this scarf, but was getting annoyed with it wrapped around my neck so I tried something new. I belted it. In doing so I created this kind of make shift vest. It may not be for everyone (especially pairing plaid with a leopard print belt), but I'm digging it. It kept me warm, made my outfit more interesting, and didn't make me feel like I was being strangled to death. Dramatic? Maybe, but I don't really dig things up near my neck. Crew necks drive me bananas. I've been know to freak out and cut a "V" into the very shirt I am wearing with kitchen scissors just because I can't take it anymore. #abitextremeIknow

3. Do you ever feel like there is a "theme" swirling around you? Like... you hear about something going on in one person's life and then you hear about it happening over and over to numerous other people?

The theme that seems to be swirling around me lately is "starting over".

Friends of mine have recently been breaking-up, breaking off engagements, and/or going through divorces. And while they are all deeply saddened by the something or someone they are "losing" they also seem to be viewing these life changes as opportunities.

I don't know if that is shift is something that happens with age or maturity... faith, hope, or optimism (or perhaps I just have really enlightened, self-aware friends), but but these don't seem to be like break-ups of the past. Devastating, long, drawn out, roller coaster breakups that include thousands of tears, hibernation, self-loathing, self-sabotaging behavior and shame. The people I know that are going through these things right now are choosing to focus not on what is "gone", but on what "could be".

Now, don't get me wrong. It is ridiculously hard... wrenching... vomit-inducing to make a major life decisions about whether to stay in a relationship or to leave one. Sometimes those decisions are made for us by other people, but sometimes they are made (or finally accepted) because we know (somewhere deeeeep down in the dark place we have been stuffing it) that we are not our best selves with that person, or in the direction we were headed with them. Either way... the shit is going to hurt.

But... when we get passed the pain enough to see the opportunity, there is this freedom that is like none other. Many of the people I know who have done truly amazing things with their lives did them shortly after a break  up. It was as if when that one chapter closed (without being conscious that they were even doing it) the next page they started writing in their life's book became much more interesting, joyous, and exciting. And before they knew it that one page became a chapter... then an entirely different book/life all together.

There are BIG things that happen in our lives. Places we go, things we do, people we meet, things that happen to us or for us and our lives are divided by them. There is who we were before that moment or that person, and who we are (forever changed) after. And that's okay. Those things mean that you are living. That your heart is beating and your lungs are breathing. Some of our greatest joy can spring from some of our greatest pain.

I guess it boils down to how you choose to view change. The way I see it is that you get to decide.

 Either... your best days are behind you... or your best days are in front of you.

I don't know about you, but I'll pick the later every time.

If you're going through this right now (or contemplating big change)... here...  maybe some of this will resonate. 

"When you feel your life ain't worth living

You've got to stand up and

Take a look around you then a look way up to the sky.

And when your deepest thoughts are broken,

Keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreamin' it's time to die.

 ...

When life is hard, you have to change."

 

Lyrics to one of my favorite songs of all time... "Change" by Blind Melon.