Quitter

Skirt: Lotus Boutique- Charlotte (15% off any online purchase with checkout code: MODA),  Shirt: Ann Taylor, Shoes: Off Broadway, Watch: Michael Kors, Bag and Earrings: Target

Well Hello There.

The calendar tells me it's been 7 weeks since my last blog post.

I do this shit every year around September/October.

The summer comes to an end; I get depressed that I have to put away my colorful, light, breezy warm weather clothes and replace them with gray and black long sleeved items, so I wear nothing but yoga pants and leggings in protest and have no desire to contribute to a blog that features photos of outfits. Fall clothes, although comfortable, do not really inspire me much. Leggings, ponchos, boots, over-sized sweaters, flannel and scarves... bah humbug. I also don't do pumpkin spice lattes or Ugg boots, so I guess you can go ahead and pull my "White Girl Card" right now.

Take it. Go ahead.

Here's a recap of the last 7 weeks:

1. Style Night Out took place. It was THE SHIT. Best.Night.Ever. The fashion show was amazing, the venue looked beautiful, we raised a ton of money for a local breast cancer non-profit, my friends and family were there... and... I got to open up the show by singing along to Drake's "Started from the Bottom".  Onstage singing Drake? Dreams really do come true. HA .<<... started from the bottom now my whole team fkin' here>>

2. I started The Whole 30 challenge. I am on day 8 today. No sugar, dairy, grains, legumes or alcohol. I am trying to see if I feel better without foods that commonly trigger inflammation and an overall feeling of "shitiness". So far, so good. The only thing that's been inflamed since I started was my temper when my manfriend ordered Chinese food on Friday night. Baaaaaaastard.

3. I decided that leather falls under "business casual". I wore this skirt to an event at work last week in a kind of quiet rebellion of Corporate America. (Black leather may be the only thing I appreciate about the weather getting colder.)

4. I almost quit. Teaching my evening Pilates/PiYo classes that is. I've been teaching almost every day in some way, shape, or form for over a year and a half. But lately, attendance has plummeted and I started to take it really personally. I got sad, then kind of pissed. I doubted myself as a teacher, started to wonder if holding classes (especially for $5 a person after a full day of working my corporate job) was worth the time and energy it takes to prepare them and spend in and on them. I would see a lot of people sign up for classes and cancel last minute, just not show, or stop coming all together. Not showing for weeks and months on end. I thought... it's not worth the money I spend renting the space out every month. It's not worth getting home at 9:15-9:30pm 3-4 times a week. It's not worth getting up early on Saturday mornings. Not seeing my friends, having to schedule "date nights" for the one night a week I am free after 7pm. Then... I remembered that I used to be that person. The one who would be committed for a while then get unmotivated. It was never anyone else's fault. I just didn't want to workout. Staying in was easier. Sitting on the couch reading fitness articles and "pinning" workouts I never actually did was enough.  Envying the strong, healthy bodies of other women was just part of life. They must have been "born" that way, or that there was no way they were as busy as I was. I told myself I would start again "next week". I was not that unhappy with how I felt. I was too tired. Too stressed. I had too little time. My commitment was fleeting. My motivation, temporary. I never once stopped working out because of any outside influence. It was all me. It wasn't my teacher's fault.
So... I decided not to quit. I decided that I would still make a weekly schedule and sign up, still post it, still create workouts, spend the time and money it takes to get certified in new things, and still show the hell up. If I quit what was I saying to the people who do still come when then can??? To the people who leave their homes at night, after work, when it's dark and getting colder (when it's easier not to)? Fitness and health are very personal, emotional things and if I was going to be dedicated to it (for myself and for other people) that I had to be dedicated to it when it was easier not to be.

Quitting is easy, but it sure as shit never gets you anywhere worth going.