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On another note...
Do you remember when you were a kid and adults would caution you about your friends? Like... "be careful who you hang out with... It doesn't matter if YOU weren't doing anything wrong... Guilt by association... etc, etc."I used to think that was a crock of crap. "I'm my own person, blah, blah, blah... I like my friends, but that doesn't mean if Johnny jumped off a bridge I would too."
As an adult though, I have changed my tune a bit. I buy into that whole, "be careful who you hang out/associate with" thing a lot more than I ever used to when I was a young punk. Maybe it's all of the self-help/motivational stuff I read and listen to, but I keep hearing over and over (from a different source every time I turn around) that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
Let that shit sink in.
You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
(Oh, and you're kids don't count. Although, I'd assume you'd want to be a pretty bad-ass example for them if they are spending a lot of time with you.)
That can be a pretty eye-opening statement if you really digest it. It can make you think about a lot.
Number one... who are "your people"?
Number two... what are they like?
Are they people you want to emulate? People who have good energy? Positive people?
Are they negative, fear-mongering, condemning, racist, sexist, uneducated (and I don't mean schooled... I mean are they informed)?
Do they give a damn about anyone but themselves or just people who look just like them, worship like them and are in the same socio-ecnomic class?
Are they wealthy? Healthy? Fit? Motivated?
Do they give? Are they "takers"? Hypochondriacs? Always playing the victim card? Complaining about their lot in life? Bitching?
Do they give grace to themselves but judge the shit out of everyone else?
Do they have goals? Dreams? Are they successful? Happy? Do they talk mostly about other people or do they talk about ideas?
Are they always worried? Self- conscious? Fearing the worst? Sick?
Do they do a whole HEAP of talking, but rarely take action? Do they commit to anything? Grow?
Take chances? Live? Or just exist?
Do they encourage or are they more comfortable talking trash? Are they supportive? Jealous? Haters or Lovers?
That's some big shit. It matters. It's not always easy to see ourselves, but we can get a pretty accurate picture (good or bad) by looking at the people in our lives. The people we see and/or talk to a lot. For many of us those are our partners, spouses, girl/boyfriends. They are our "work" friends and our "after-work" friends. They are the people we chat with on the phone, on social media, the people we make plans with, our families.
It's been said that water seeks it's own level and as I get older the more I believe that to be true. I know there is power in association. If I'm around skeptical, shitty, unmotivated people who complain a lot... it drains me, man; BUT... if I'm around exceptional, driven, loving, supportive, fun, healthy people I am energized. Inspired. Encouraged.
I have pretty limited free time (like almost everyone else I know) so I'm very deliberate about who I spend it with. It's important to protect your energy.
It might be worth it to take a good, hard look at the people in your life because those are the people you get lumped in with. Those are the people you are making memories with. Those are the people you are comfortable with for a reason.
You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
That shit get DEEP.
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