Begin...

Jumper: Marshalls ($24 freaking dollars), Shoes: $20 bought in NYC circa 2010 (no idea which store - cute, but finally biting the dust), Bracelets: Mantrabands, Earrings: Kendra Scott, Bag: this gorgeous, huge, dusty rose tote, with "butta" soft, leather and rose gold hardware is a Tory Burch (a gift from R+F)

Do you ever feel like you're getting the same message over and over again from The Universe?

It's like once you get a new car. You start seeing that same make, model, and color EVERYWHERE you look. Are there really more 2015 gray Jeep Cherokees in your town, or are you now just more aware of them so you're noticing what has always been there?

I've been feeling that way lately about the idea of "beginning". I've been seeing quotes, reading books, and hearing pieces of conversations that have gotten me thinking about "beginning"... A LOT.

Beginning, or being a beginner. It's something we do all of the time when we are young. We begin. Every day, or week, or month. We try things, ask questions, ask for help, get coached, solicit advice. We fall, get up, try again. We are cool with starting. With not being good at something. Not knowing everything. We give ourselves permission to learn, be embarrassingly terrible at something, and just work through it until we get better. Like... when you're really young and learning to walk. You never think to yourself... "Ah man, this may not be for me. I have fallen A LOT. Perhaps this whole walking thing is overrated. I think I'll just give up on it and you know, stick to crawling." When does that change? When do we decide that we have learned enough? Tried enough? Fallen enough? Failed enough? When do we get too embarrassed to be a beginner? When do we outgrow humility?

I meet so many adults who can't remember the last time they did something for the first time. They may want to start a new exercise routine, take a class, learn a new language, start a business, go back to school, or change careers but they won't. They're scared. Risk adverse. Embarrassed. WAY too in their heads. It's weird. It's as if our egos get too big, but our confidence somehow simultaneously plummets.

To be honest, I am guilty. Being scared of being a beginner. Failing. I am going through the process of getting certified to teach a new fitness class and for some reason I am incredibly worried that I am going to suck at it. That I am going to fail my video audition, or not do a good job if do get through the extensive certification process. That I'll FK up. Get stuck. Completely blank. Straight up suck at it.

It wasn't until I realized that every single thing that has made my life worthwhile required me to be a beginner. To start with knees shaking, with zero assurance that it would "work".

In order to meet someone you love, you have to risk that it won't work. You've got to go on your first few dates. Before I taught Pilates, I had to find the courage to walk into my first class (never having been to one in my life). As for my skincare business. I knew NOTHING about skincare before I started. I just had to jump. Learn. Be horribly bad at it. Make mistakes. Ask people for help. Start. Stop. Start again. This blog (even though I've been SUPER slack with it lately) required me to do something that people would most certainly talk shit about.

So... (Note To Self):
If there is something you want to do, no matter how big or small. Maybe you should just do it. Be a beginner, man. Find someone who has been there and done it. Ask them for help. Get a mentor. Be lousy. Laugh at yourself. Be okay with doing a shit job until you "get it".  Stop waiting and talking yourself out of it. While you are sitting there over-thinking, planning, studying up on it, researching, and analyzing, and practicing, you're being lapped by people who are out there. People who are falling. Failing. Embarrassing themselves. They are doing. The world is propelled by "doers" (who were all once... wait for it... beginners).

"The master has failed more times than the beginner has ever tried." - Stephen McCranie