5.09.2013

The Bra That Changed My Life





Shirt: Green with Envy, Skirt: Target, Shoes: LOTUS, Necklace: Birthday gift from my friend, Carol, Watch: Michael Kors

I have big boobs. You may not know that because I normally keep them pretty well under wraps, but they are no joke. I work really hard to not put them on display. I'm self conscious about them... and they are uncomfortable. They piss me off every single day of my life. A bra with good support normally looks about as sexy as a straight jacket, and if it is actually strong enough to hold these bad boys up, it pulls so tight that back fat is inevitable. Most mimimizers smoosh them down, and push ups hoist them up so high that I could literally motorboat myself. Not good. I work a corporate job, and I work out, big ol' boobs are not conducive to either of those two things. I feel trashy with a push-up, and like a 90 year old with a minimizer. Most days I just deal with them, but this particular morning as I was getting dressed I had a Stage 5 meltdown. It was serious. I was almost sweating with anger and frustration. "Aghhhh... Ieffinghatethesestupidgiganticthings!" As luck would have it, my boyfriend called me at the exact moment that I wanted to throw myself through paned glass. I waited to see if he had something more serious to discuss before venting about something as trivial as my boobs. When I realized that he was simply calling to chat, I had to break it to him. "Sorry, babe... I really can't talk. I'm in the middle of a damn meltdown." Annnd... because my boyfriend is a good guy, he wanted to help me out.. to "fix" it. He suggested that we go to the mall after work and buy "really good bras". Poor guy, he probably thought he was getting a trip to Victoria's Secret. Little did he know, we were going on a field trip to Soma. THAT is where you go when you need the real deal. (I normally do not take the time or money to buy the right kind of bra. I just buy whatever minimizer is on sale at Target. EPIC FAIL). I went into a dressing room with a woman who works there. She measured me in my current bra. She said... waaaaaait for it... that I was measuring as a G. YUP. G as in Girl. G as in Gigantic. G as in you've got to be effin' kidding me, I'm in an ill-fitting minimizer and you're measuring me at a WHAT????  (well, that doesn't start with a "g" but whatever). I backed up and was like... "Uh... NO. I am a D.... or DD MAX. There is NO way I am a G". I swear I felt like I was going to barf. After I told her all of the "issues" I was having she brought me about 15 bras to try on (DD bras... not Gs). The third bra I tried on was the winner. It lifted, separated, and didn't make me look like a prostitute... or a great-grandmother. It was like MAGIC. I instantly felt better. My back straightened, my neck felt relief... I had a real moment. I walked out planning on biting the bullet and buying 3 (they are $50 a piece). My boyfriend, because he is the single best human alive (and because good men hate to see us hate ourselves, don't they?), matched my 3 and I left with 6. OH HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!!!! I was like a different person. I cannot overstress the immediate difference it made in the way I felt. I even walked taller. F*@cking Magical. SO... if you are a woman with any sort of boob issues, I HIGHLY recommend going to SOMA to work that out. They have made me a believer and I HAD to share. Life-Changing. No... really. These bras changed.my.life. Really.

** I initially posted this and realized that I never told you which bra it is. It is the Sensuous Sides Full Coverage bra. Check it out HERE- oh, and go UP one band size for SURE, and if you are kind of in between cup sizes.. go up a cup too. I always wore a 34D, I left with 36DD. This particular cut runs a bit small. They warned me of that. The link will take you to the "lace" version, but they have regular ones too. SO GOOD.

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