Enough

Sweater: Vestique, Skirt and Belt:  Target, Shoes: Nordstrom, Bag: CHLOÉ,

I've been thinking about something for a few days.

If you think back on your life, when do you remember first being unhappy with some part of yourself?

Really. Think about it.

I'm almost ashamed to admit how young I was. In kindergarten. So... 5 years old. Maybe even earlier than that.

What about you? Did you want to change your nose, hair, body type, sexual preference? Perhaps you saw people that seemed to be good "at everything" and you wished you were a better reader, more skilled at math, a faster runner. Maybe you wished you were thinner, or curvier, taller, shorter, had straight teeth, nicer clothes?

Now that you're older do you wish you had a better car, bigger house, marble countertops, more vacations, less debt, a more attractive partner? Kids who are stronger athletes, a nicer lawn, bigger boobs, smaller belly, made more money, had a baby, a second baby, were at the top of your company, had a PHD, new floors, white kitchen cabinets, an addition on your house, or lived in a nicer neighborhood? Maybe you wish you could stay home with your kids, wish you could get away from your kids and work outside of the home, wish you had never had kids (no one admits that but it's real)? Want to quit your job? Wished your spouse made more money? Wish for a man? A woman?  Or.... maybe you still wish for  the things you wanted when you were young... clearer skin, more manageable hair, a flatter tummy,  and newer clothes?

Is your happiness on the other side of something you don't have?

I'll be happy once I lose 20lbs.
Once I get pregnant.
Once I make more money.
Once my kids are older.
Once I get my pre-baby "body back".
Once my partner works less.
Once I relocate.

Now don't get me wrong. I am all for growth, evolution, and change. For squeezing all you can out of this one precious life we are given. I love to strive, to achieve. I get it.

However... the desire to always change, do more, be more, have more, for your circumstances to be different... it can be exhausting. It can push you into a place where your happiness is always on the other side of something just out of your current reach. It can make you take for granted the life you have. It can make you downright depressed and miserable. 

I had a deep conversation with a friend of mine this weekend. She is a beautiful woman. Inside and out. She has a loving husband, gorgeous home, luxury car, and a successful career (with an insanely bright future). She is in shape, has great hair, and on the outside... pretty much has it all. She is human though, and a person who (admittedly) ties her worth to the things she is achieving. She's had a crazy year. Almost every major change that can happen in a person's life has gone down in hers. She has moved to a different state, a new house, and works for a different company. She's making decisions about her future, family, career, etc. Her husband is high-achieving too. She was just saying that she feels "BLAH". And I get it. We all feel "BLAH" sometimes. Depressed, anxious, not "enough".

The conversation I had with my friend stuck with me and the very next day I read this quote. It hit me like a TON of bricks...

"Can you imagine not craving to be any different than you are right now?"

WHOA.

WHOA.

WHOAAAAAAAAA.

Can you imagine not craving to be any different than you are right now?

Can you imagine that? That gratitude. That appreciation for all you have? All that you are. Not thinking about what you "aren't". What you don't have. What other people have. What you want out of your future. It may just be the tiny slice of peace you're yearning for. Especially this time of year when there is pressure to decorate, buy things, have things, bake, give, donate, host, and fulfill other's wishes.

What if you're enough.
Exactly as you are.
With all of the things you do or don't do.
Have or have not.
Can or cannot afford.
Are or are not. 

Just.... enough.