Priorities

Kimono/Robe Thing: CRIV, Shorts: Marshalls, Shoes: CRIV, Purse: gift, Necklaces: Alex + Ani, Bodysuit: F21

I've seen this quote floating around the "interwebs" over the last few years. It says...

Instead of saying " I don't have time". Try saying "it's not a priority" and see how that feels.

I'm sure it was created by some well-meaning, motivator. Perhaps someone in fitness or business.

At first I liked it.
Then, I didn't. (It kind of made me feel dirty. Like person #1 was trying to shame person #2.)
Then... I started liking it again.
A lot.

Why do I mention all of this? Well... because this quote is PRETTY MUCH THE KEY TO EVERYTHING IN LIFE. At least in mine.

In daily life we are bombarded with to-dos. At different times we feel the need to workout like crazy, start a diet, make homemade cupcakes for our kid's classrooms, look amazing for an event, start a business, work a business, sustain a business. Start a relationship, work at a relationship, possibly end a relationship. Find time for date night. Shave our legs. Organize our pantry. Do the laundry. Mow the lawn. Do our taxes. There are endless household, financial, and career responsibilities. There are friendships to maintain, family to care for, etc. etc. etc.

Lots and lots of THINGS.
All of the time.
All of the things.
All of the time.

It's hard sometimes to figure out how to use the 24 hours we are given in a day, and if we don't use them in the way we think we "should" then we start to feel like a failure.

Instead of feeling overwhelmed by all of the things I think I should or should not be doing... I use this trick. When something pops into my head that I start to put on my mental to-do list, I simply ask my self, honestly?

Is this a priority today? Truly? Is it?

Yes or no.
Without judgement.
Without guilt.
Without shame.
Is this a priority?

Is working out a priority today? Most of the time, yes, it is. Sometimes though, no.

Is keeping my job a priority? Yes? Then I must show up for work. 

Moms and dads... is it a priority that your kid has a snack to bring to school for his/her birthday? Yes, more than likely it is. Is it priority that you devote 3 hours to it (between scouring Pinterest for ideas, shopping for ingredients, baking, and cleaning up)? Maybe not. Maybe you buy cupcakes that a baker at the grocery store poured his/her heart into. Your heart has a lot of other places to pour into that day. Your kid is going to remember that you showed up for them. That's all. There are no medals given out to exhausted parents for winning (moral victories) over the other moms and dads in the cul-de-sac who did not hand craft their kid's sweet treats.

Having a skincare regimen is a priority for me. Every. single. night. NO FAIL. Why? Because acne and wrinkles makes me feel like dog shit. So, no matter how tired I am. No matter how much I DON'T want to do it, washing my face and using 2 serums right after is a priority. #shitalmost40yearoldssay

Is washing and blow drying my hair a priority? 6 days out of 7, absolutely no. It just isn't. So I don't do it. 

Sex. Is it a priority? Some nights? No. Sleep. Sleep is the priority. But... tie it back to your partner's happiness and fulfillment. Your happiness and feeling of connection. If it's a priority for your partner's happiness and your partner's happiness IS a priority for you, then, boom. Sex might just be a priority that night.

Same thing with eating "right". Most meals... yes. I want to fuel my body with healthy food that makes me feel good. On a Saturday night at 2am out with friends making memories and sharing cocktails? Then it is not a priority. Getting chicken wings dipped in blue cheese is a priority.

Friends. By now you should know your friends. The high and the lower maintenance groups. This last Saturday I went out for my friend, Jess's birthday. I had not seen her IN A YEAR. We live 15 minutes from one another. But.... she works full-time, has 2 kids, a husband, and is busy. I am busy too. No sweat. We always pick up right where we left off. My friends Justin and Tommy though... I go 2 week's without seeing them and my shit starts to come undone at the seams. Standing around their kitchen and talking is a priority for my mental health.

Sidenote: You are not a bad friend if you don't see your friends all of the time. We are adults. There are lots and lots of things. All of the time. Things.

Don't feel bad about not "doing it all". Don't feel bad about asking for help, paying for help, recruiting professionals for things you don't want to trade your time for. I'd love to tell you that I plant flowers and garden. I wish I did, but it's not a priority for me. My husband mows our lawn, but spending his rare free time in it all weekend. Not a priority for him. We pay someone for their expertise.

I don't sew. I pay someone $5.00 every time I lose a button. Is that a bit excessive? Should I be embarrassed to admit that? Probably, but FK it. I don't prioritize learning how to sew. 

I pay for someone to come in and clean our house very so often. Why? Because they do a great job and I prioritize having a clean house. On my weekends, I just don't want to do it. I do it every day to some extent, but looking outside and seeing that it's gorgeous and sunny??? I prioritize getting my ass outside.

If you invite me to a bridal shower for my second cousin, three times removed on my dad's, aunt's, dog's side of the family? I am not going. It's not a priority and I am not going to feel bad about it. 

See... the quote is FKN genius.

Is it a priority?
Without judgement.
Without shame.
Without guilt.
Very simply.
Yes or No.
(Remember: It's not a trick question. There are no wrong answers.)

"In a world with so many choices 

 are demanded of you every single day, 

 don't forget that you have the choice

 to choose yourself.

 To choose what you need today to keep going. 

 To choose to move away from what's not working. 

 And to choose where you're headed next." 

-Rebecca Ray

*Was it a priority for me to edit the first picture in this post and get rid of the huge drop of boob sweat??? No, clearly it was not.