FREAKUM DRESS

Dress and Shoes: CRIV, Purse and Earrings: Versona, Watch: Michele

My husband and I both fight the mid-week blues.

The monotony of the work week... getting up with the alarm, going to work, managing stress, coming home to fold laundry, do the dishes, mow the lawn, pay the bills, trying to get to sleep before midnight, getting up and doing it all over again... it starts to feel like a hamster wheel. You're running your ass off but the scenery stays the same.

And... before you judge... I know. We are adults. Staying in for 3 nights in a row should not make us go stir crazy, but it does. So...we try to get out of the house and do something. Anything.

The weeks that we manage to work in a Wednesday "date night" we normally just run out in our gym clothes (my hair in a 4-day dirty top knot / no make-up) to get something to eat. That is my uniform 85-90% of the time. Yoga pants, tank top, sports bra, sneakers, zero make-up, and a filthy bun. That look works for me. It works for my workouts, my Pilates classes, painting, cleaning the house, running errands. It's a look I am REALLY comfortable with. It's easy. It is NOT however a look that makes me feel especially attractive or desirable. I do not strut, shoulders back, head held high in Nike's the same way I do in heels.

I appreciate (THE FK OUT OF) the fact that I married a man who does not have shitty, unrealistic expectations of me. He loves me in yoga pants and loves me in heels, BUT... every so often it's nice to step it up a notch.

I get dressed for things. You know... events, weekends with friends, concerts, etc. But I RARELY just get dressed up for MYSELF, for my dude. I tend to think that an hour's worth of effort is "too much" for just grabbing something to eat on a Wednesday night. Last night, though, I decided to switch it up. I decided to BRING.IT. I got dressed. Last night I ditched my go-to uniform and pulled the tag off a dress that I bought 3 years ago.

Why have I had this dress for 3 years and never worn it, you ask? Because it's FKNG terrifying that's why. If you hadn't noticed, it is white. All white. Bright white. Not ivory, not off white, WHITE WHITE. I'm a slob. I will wipe my brow, get bronzer all over my fingertips and then, w/o thinking, pull my skirt down. I will drink red wine and miss my mouth. I spill things. I'm clumsy. I am not being self-deprecating. I'm being honest.

Also... cellulite. My right butt cheek has dimples in it and they are not going anywhere. I work out, I eat well, and I have cellulite. (Also, I'm not saying that my left cheek doesn't also have dimples, but they are WAY more prominent on my right cheek.) And, I don't do Spanx or shapewear. I tried wearing Spanx to a wedding once, they were so uncomfortable that I was having a bad time. I went to the bathroom and took those suckers off. I then looked down at my tiny little clutch purse, realized I had NO place to stuff them, and decided to toss 'em. In the bathroom of the reception area. I tossed a $50 pair of Spanx. BUT... I then proceeded to dance the rest of the night with my low belly and ass dimples free and on full display and had a great time.

Last night, I wore the dress I was scared of. Ass dimples and all. I made sure I washed my hands before putting it on and pulling it down and I was careful at dinner (skipped the red wine just in case).

When I walked into the restaurant to meet my husband he looked at me and said "Damn babe, you look great - that's a hot dress". BOOM. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. I felt good. Well... I felt like a greased goose actually, It was hot AF, raining, muggy, and the oil moisturizer I put on my arms and legs to make them all seductively shiny was melting off of me at record speed. My deodorant was LONG gone, and the back of my neck and upper lip were sweaty. BUT.... he noticed none of that. I sat, shoulders back and upright (probably more from fear of belly rolls in an ALL white dress than the confidence that came from his compliment - but I'd like to think it was a mixture of both). We had a great time.

Also... Mother Nature was smiling down on me letting me have my moment. She minded her own business until we got home. Then... BOOM... I got my period. HA. Life, man. The white dress was not harmed, the cramps stayed at bay, and date night was salvaged.

I say all of this to say... in the words of Beyonce...

Ladies look it here
When you been with your man for a long time
Every now and then you gotta go in the back of that closet
And pull out that freakum dress