7.25.2013

Look of the Day: A Pregnant Maitre d' with Bushy Brows












Disclaimer: I have nothing of interest or real value to share, so I'd stop reading now if your time is precious.

1. If I ever wanted to know what I would look like at oh... say 2 weeks pregnant, I would look at photo #7. I am not preggers, but I look it a bit in that photo. I say 2 weeks, because I am sure I would "pop" early and become absolutely enormous. The kind of large that makes strangers assume multiple births. The kind of large that turns a 2 person loveseat into a one person chair. In this case, it's just a puffy shirt, but it does look a bit like a baby bump.

2. I got asked today by a male co-worker today if I had a uni-brow as a child. WHAA???? What the hell kind of question is that?  I mean... I get it, I have enormous eyebrows. As a kid they didn't really grow together so much as they grew down on my eyelid and over into my hairline. I shit you not. It was like I didn't properly evolve or something. Like I grew that hair to ensure my warmth and survival during the winter months while I was hibernating in my cave. That may also explain my baby bump belly... preservation of calories and all. You know... for my survival.

3. I looked liked a maitre d' today. Right? All black & white, these cigarette pants, this tuxedo style jacket? All day I had an overwhelming urge to say, "Welcome. Is your entire party here? Would you like to be seated? Follow me, please".  

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