I felt VERY Corporate America in my ensemble today. My tight bun, pencil skirt, and pearl studs fit the bill to a "T", but my studded shoes, red lips, and cray-cray necklace kind of let you in on the fact that I don't really belong. I enjoy pushing the dress code boundaries a liiiiiittle too much for my own good. Some days I feel like I am silently screaming... "I'm an imposter!!!!!! I don't belong. Get me out!" Out of the land of conference calls, project teams, salary negotiations, performance reviews and webinars. I belong in the land of the free. I am a RIGHT brain dammit. A right brain trapped in a left brain's day job! HEEEEELP!"
I know a lot of women who feel this way. Trapped between what we "have" to do and what we "want" to do. The worst part of that tugging feeling though???? Being in your early/almost mid-30's and not knowing exactly what it is that you want to do. I have this conversation quite often with my SIL and BFF (sister-in-law & best friend). I have always envied people that have a specific, all-consuming passion/talent/dream. I've always been kind of a "Jane" of all trades, master of none. There is SO much that I really like doing, but nothing that I am really exceptional at. You know what I am saying? Some people have the dream and talent to be an artist, musician, chef, dancer, designer, or entrepreneur. I just want to do a little bit of everything.
When I grow up I want to be a:
- News Anchor/Journalist
- Interior Decorator
- Fundraiser for a Non-Profit
- Fitness Instructor
- Book Reviewer
- Life/Health Coach
- Giuliana Rancic
What am I? Five effing years old? Who says that? I kind of want to be a stay-at-home mom, minus the mom part? Does that make me the single most selfish person alive? I think I just described Paris Hilton? An independently wealthy waste of space.
My gusband (gay husband), J, has this imaginary place called, "Waste of Skin Island". It is where he exiles all worthless people to. Like... Lindsey Lohan, John Gossling (John & Kate Plus 8... after he became a dead beat), Brittney Spears (during her head shaving, meltdown), and most recently, Amanda Bynes. Pretty sure after admitting that I would love nothing more than to quit my job and lead an extremely hedonistic lifestyle, that I was just voted the new Mayor of Waste of Skin Island. I'm in the backseat of this picture... ducking out of shame.