|Shirt: Old Navy, Skirt: Target, Shoes: Shoedazzle.com, Necklace: LOTUS, Watch: Michael Kors, Jade Ring: Online somewhere, Bracelet and "M" Ring: Old Navy, Purse: Steve Madden from Marshalls, Jade Bracelet: Gift|
I'm late. I get it. I know that these fake, dark framed glasses have been a "thing" for a while now. The whole "Geek Chic" trend and all. I love accessorizing and I do not discriminate against doing it with fake glasses. The problem... I have real glasses that I HATE wearing and rarely do. My vision blows and yet, here I am forgoing my real specs in favor of fake ones. These glasses may make me look "smart", but I think it's pretty clear that I am a dumbass of epic proportions.
Did you guys notice anything different about me in the pictures above (besides the glasses)? No? You didn't notice the weird half, or fully closed-mouth smiles? Why am I doing that you ask? Is looking constipated also a new trend? No... it is not. I am doing that because of this.....
I had surgery on my grill. Remember that popcorn kernel getting stuck in my gum that I told you about a couple of weeks ago? Well, my boyfriend got it out (he is a trained professional ... he did not do it with tweezers or anything weird like that), but instead of fully healing, the FRONT of my gum went BAZERK. My body started "overcorrecting" and I got this awesome, red, bulbous growth on my gum. SO... they went in, cut out a shit ton of my gum (really... there is a HOLE in my gum that you can see straight through), stitched it all up, and slapped this protective putty stuff over the area. So now I look like a total creeper every time I smile (which apparently is a lot). Best part. This stuff is on the front of my mouth AND on the roof of my mouth. It tastes like I am sucking on a Band-Aid all day long. DEE-LICIOUS. I affectionately call it my "gangsta grill".
I want you to walk away the next time someone offers you popcorn. That one snack cost me $1150, a HOLE STRAIGHT THROUGH MY GUM (that will hopefully, eventually repair itself), pain, and BONE LOSS (from my body attacking the area for so long). This shit is NO JOKE
Oh, and yes... totally wore these shoes to work in Corporate America. Yes.I.Did. I figured if anyone had anything to say about it, I'd just stare at them intensely... raise my lip so you could see my putty... and growl really loudly like a crazy person. No one messes with crazy people. They are frightening.