I'll have what she's having...

Blazer: Lotus (15% off online with coupon code MODA), Skirt: F21, Shirt: Vestique, Shoes: Shoedazzle, Bracelet: Celene Stones (Celenestones@gmail.com 15% off if you mention this here blog) and Alex & Ani, Watch: Michael Kors, Purse: Target

YO YO YO!!! Happy Thursday.

I don't know about you, but man... this work week has sucked my will to live. I am SO ready for Friday to get it's ass here. I'm looking forward to some wine (and by some... of course I mean lots), wearing pants with an elastic waistband, and a little HGTV House Hunters (maybe even a marathon). Ahhh. Perfection.

So... I have been thinking about something lately. It was a topic of conversation at a girl's night out last Friday and I have been uber conscious of it ever since. I was sitting at a table having some food and drinks with my girlfriends. There were 5 of us. We started talking about the fact that for some reason, grown ass women are oddly concerned with what other grown ass women eat.  Here's what I mean...

*Disclaimer: I have been guilty of this shit too, but I am working on it.*

Have you ever been out to eat with a bunch of friends (other women) and done the whole... "what are you ordering? I don't know... what are you going to order?" Then one of you says... "I'm going to have a cheeseburger and tater tots." The other sighs and says... "Thank Gawd, I was going to be 'good', but I don't feel bad now. Fuk it. I'm having a milkshake, and chicken fingers."

Or (*gasp*)... you don't speak a word about what you're getting. The waitress comes to the table. The first person at the table orders nachos and mozzarella sticks, and the second person orders a salad. Hold the damn phone?!?!?!?  Now the first woman immediately goes on the defensive... "Yeah... I haven't eaten ALL day. I've been on a juice fast for 10 days. I had a bad day at work. I had a salad for lunch. I worked out twice yesterday. I have been SO good lately. I'm going to eat NO carbs all week after this meal. It's my cheat day. I ... I ... I ... " Who the hell cares? Let me repeat that... WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!

Why the justification? Why are you asking your friends permission to order what you want to eat? Why are you explaining why you "deserve" it??? Why does it matter to you if she eats a 12 inch steak and cheese Philly with chips and a beer and washes it down with a brownie sundae? If you want that, order it. If you don't. Don't. Simple, right?

Or, if you're at a table with "that girl"... you know the one. The one who can eat whatever she wants and not gain a pound. Yes, those bitches. We all know at least one (and I guarantee I am friends with at least 50 of them). They will order fried chicken and macaroni and cheese, and you will order cottage cheese and lettuce... then stop at the drive through on the way home because you are miserable. Legit "hangry" (so hungry that you are actually angry). Why try to eat like a bird becasue you are around your "skinny" friend? You'd probably be a lot more fun to hang out with if you just ordered what you want and stopped shooting laser beams of pure hatred into her chest. Am I right? I mean... it just is what it is. Every body is different and it shouldn't really matter to you, or anyone else what someone chooses to eat.

My girlfriend works in an office with a lot of women, and at a lunch meeting the other day she ate a meal... a full meal, and then got up for more, because... wait for it... she was still hungry. News flash: women get hungry too. Like FO REAL hungry. We are not all dainty little birds who celery for dinner and ice cubes for dessert. AnyWHO... my friend got back to the table with her second helping of food and felt the longing, judgmental stares of all of the women around her. "I wish I could do that. I wish I could eat that way. I wish I had your body." Oh, shut it. It was SO bad that at the end of the day, same friend was walking to her car, and one of the women from her office saw her leave and said... "Oh, are you going to the gym now to work off your lunch?"

Uh.... WHHHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTT? Seriously? You're STILL thinking about what someone else ate for lunch 5 hours ago???? That is not healthy. Or cool. Not cool. Shut your fool mouth already.

It's one thing to have your own issues with food. TRUST me. I get it. It's a battle I have fought every day since I was conscious of my weight... which for me, was the 3rd grade. Yes... 8 baby years old. But at some point, we have to drop it, right? It's exhausting. Stop asking permission, stop justifying, stop announcing to the world every time you make a good (or bad) food choice... whatever that means. Eat what you want to eat. Eat for your body, lifestyle, health, pleasure, and goals. And for Gawd's sake... when you are breaking bread with other women... let them do the same.

There are enough assholes in the world. Try not to be one. Eating is fun. Don't be a fun sponge.


  1. Love this post, Melissa! It is such a shame how many of us feel like we have to be "perfect". But the truth of the matter is that there is only what's perfect for YOU. You captured that beautifully here.

  2. Haha, I clicked here for your Miley Post (which was great,) but then decided to go for a scroll. Your shirt here reminds me of the Death Cab For Cutie album cover for Narrow Stairs. Keep up the good work!