Twerk Miley, Miley... Twerk

Romper: Armani Exchange (in San Fran, CA over 4 years ago), Necklace: Gift from Mexico, Watch: Michael Kors, Shoes: Lotus (15% off online with code MODA at checkout), Bracelet: Celene Stones (EM Krista at CeleneStones@gmail.com  for yours - mention ModaFresca and get 15% off).

The manfriend and I try to have a date night every once in a while on a weeknight just to break up the monotony of the work week.

On the night I wore this we decided to go to the movies. I was thiiiiiiis close to just wearing my Pilates clothes (since I was coming from teaching a private session), but I decided that I would put a little extra effort in (you know for "date night" and all) and throw some "real" clothes on. Which, I should add, happens less and less these days.

Apparently it happens SO infrequently that when he walked in and saw me dressed, he said.... "Oh, what are you up to tonight?" I said... "Uhhhh... going out with you, dude. Right? " He just smiled, apparently pleased that I hadn't forgotten about the part of my closet that houses more than just gray yoga pants and racer-back tank tops.

(Although he is not a dick and would never say that.)

AnyWHO... we ventured off of the movies, got there about 20 minutes early, and decided to have a glass of wine. While we were doing that we ran into this guy we know who runs the movie theater. We asked him what he was up to tonight. He pointed to a table of 3 girls (between the ages of 13-15) and said... "I'm taking my nieces to the Miley Cyrus concert. I have 2 extra tickets to our suite... do you guys want to go?"

Uh.... WHAAAAAAT??? Wrecking Ball? Party in the USA? We Can't Stop? The Climb? I looked at my manfriend with wide, hopeful eyes, kind of shaking my head up and down really quickly as if to say "Hell YES". He just looked back at me with a flat, almost defeated look as if to say... "Ugh... if we must".

So... off we went to the Miley Cyrus concert. What an experience. It was ludicrous (as I am sure you can imagine). Psychedelic dancing animals on the screen, and mascot-size versions of them dancing on stage, video of Miley in S&M bondage gear... black leather, blindfolded, cuffed... the whole nine. She wore a huge, over sized (night gown looking) t-shirt with her own face on it (HUGE tongue sticking out.. obvi). The foam finger made more than one appearance. She simulated sex with a Barbie Doll (true story). She was sans pants the entire time, favoring sequined thong bodysuits instead. She brought the Twerk Team out for a few numbers, and encouraged the audience to make out with whomever they were next to for the duration of one of her songs. It was an absolute shit show of EPIC proportions. 

On the flip side of that though... the girl can sing. She sang all her hits (and I got more excited than perhaps a 34 year old woman should). She busted out The Beatles, Bob Dylan and Dolly Parton covers. I was really surprised (and pumped) when she sang one of my all time favorites by Dolly Parton, "Jolene". I was singing along at the top of my lungs. I didn't give a FUUUU who saw or heard me. I was having a moment. And... as I looked over at my manfrined, I could tell that he was having a good time too. He loves music. All kinds. (He creates and produces music, plays piano, and is a fan of all different genres. So, thank GAWD for that.)

We thought we had seen it all during the show, but it was nothing compared to walking out of it surrounded by thousands of Miley fans. Good LAWD. I had 3 times more of my body covered than even the most conservative person there. I was basically wearing a burqa in comparison. I didn't get the memo that there was a Miley fan uniform. But, in case you ever decided to go to one of her shows, here it is. In order to not stand out, you must be wearing super high waisted, denim, Daisy Duke, cut-off shorts that are NO longer than a 1/2 centimeter from your vagina, and an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny crop top that makes a bra look like a winter jacket. Oh, and if you are concerned with "dressing for your body type"... please... don't be. There was NO SHAME in their game. We saw lots and lots of bellies.... big bellies, small bellies, tight bellies, flabby bellies... ERRRYTHANG. Oh, and thighs. There was more thigh meat at that show than all of the Kentucky Fried Chicken locations on the East coast combined. It was insane. I seriously looked like a nun next to these girls. I guarantee that half of those girls got changed to go to the show in a public restroom, because I refuse to believe that parents would let their 12 year olds out of the house looking like straight up street walkers. Unreal.

Anyway... we had a great time. It was an experience FO SHO, and WAY more entertaining than any movie I have ever seen in my entire life. Entertaining... and disturbing.

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