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I wore this last night. Can you tell that I am desperately, pathetically trying to hold onto summer? I know it's October 1st, but I am not ready for fall. Why you ask? Because fall is just nature's way of easing us into winter. Or hell, as I prefer to call it.
It seems like I am the only one not totally psyched for fall though. I woke up to a lot of people celebrating October 1st. Especially my white girl friends. Man, white girls love them some fall. You would have thought that it was a legitimate holiday.
I saw posts about it on FB ("YAY Fall"... "Wohoo, Boots and Baggy Sweaters"... "Leggings Weather"). There were pictures of changing leaves and Pumpkin Spice Lattes all over Instagram. And... if all that wasn't a cruel enough reminder that summer is over, I was faced with the proverbial "nail in the coffin" at lunch today when I had my first black tights sighting of the season.
A woman was wearing black tights, a black skirt that hit her mid-calf, a mock turtle neck sweater, and flats. Come ON. 80 degrees was the high today in Charlotte. 80 degrees. She was jumping the gun a touch if you ask me. She was either really excited for fall or demonstrating how one would dress if they were going as Human Contraception for Halloween. For gawd sake... that outfit was walking birth control.
Fall. Bah Friggin' Humbug.
I miss summer already.
I don't completely hate fall. I mean... I love the leaves changing, trips to the mountains, making homemade soup, the smell of cinnamon, Sunday football, and a the fact that I can blow dry my hair without sweat beads accumulating on my upper lip. BUT the clothes!?!?!?! I get SO sick of cool weather clothes after like a week. They are all dark... and basic. Even faux fur and leather (which I love) turns ho hum in the fall. Why? Because everyone wears it all the time. I mean, what else are you going to do?
I changed out my closet this week. I took all my summer clothes and put them upstairs, and brought my Fall/Winter stuff down. You know what I saw.... a whole heap of Snoozeville. Boooooring. I fell asleep for a second just writing about it. Black. Gray. Beige. Elastic waistbands. Oversized sweaters... and sensible shoes. Gag.
Gone are the bright colors. The neons, florescents, and florals. The flowy dresses and caftans. Maxi dresses and mini skirts. Shorts.... tanks... sandals. Thin, free flowing material that allows for movement. I want to wear shit I can twirl in. I don't make a habit of twirling (I am a grown ass woman, after all) but I like having the option. I like when hair gets highlighted from the sun. Pink lipstick. Tan lines. Open toes. I like fresh fruit and farmers markets. Early sunrises and late sunsets. Trips to the beach. I love the way salt water exhausts you and makes you feel completely alive all at the same time.
You know what fall and winter do to me? Nothing good. I feel like I am retaining water for 6 months. Bloated... and white, like the underbelly of a fish. All I want to do is hang out and eat. Fall and winter... you basically just strap 10 pumpkin spiced pounds to your ass as you get whiter by the minute. I'm talking pasty white. The kind of white that makes a little red zit look like a stop sign on your face. You know what I'm saying? What happens to a pimple in the summer? Nothing. It gets dried up, or you're tan so you don't even notice it. What happens to a zit in the winter? It ruins your damn day, that's what. Ugh.
Seasons change... it gets cold... and sensible clothing is inevitable, I know. BUT... I refuse to go down without a fight.
DEATH BEFORE CREWNECKS!