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Someone said to me this weekend... "Mel... I don't know how you find the time to do all of the things you do. You seem to do it all. Do you sleep? Man... I feel so bad about myself when I think about all you do and all I don't".
They went on (and on... and on.... ) to paint this picture of me that is not at all accurate. A picture of this person who kind of has it all together and floats effortlessly through life. Someone with great habits, perfect priorities, and a solid handle on what matters most. If I had a big fat buzzer I would have hit it like... URRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH nope. Stop right there, sister!
Granted, I do a lot of shit. Hopefully most of us do.
It's called living.
I work full time, teach Pilates 6-7 days a week, co-instruct a bootcamp a few times a week, take Pure Barre classes, I'm in nutrition school, in a relationship, and I do some things with my girlfriends and in the community. Those are the things that I do. So... those are the things I talk about and post about.
There are hundreds of things that I don't do though.
I think sometimes social media leads us to believe that other people have it all together, or that they have these picture perfect lives. That's a dangerous myth to buy into. Social media (as I have always said) is someone's highlight reel. Right? I don't believe in putting "woe is me", dramatic bullshit out into the universe like that... but sometimes not putting it out there can lead people to believe that shitty things do not exist in other people's lives. Ugh... 100% false.
I think it's great to get inspired by others (I get inspired by a lot of people in my life near and far) but man... don't make yourself feel like shit, or put someone else up on a pedestal because your behind the scenes doesn't look like their perfectly filtered Instagram feed.
As I was talking to this woman I started telling her that I am a firm believer that we MAKE the time for what is most important to us, and as far as my life goes my "TO-DON'T" list is longer than my "TO-DO list. Right now, health and wellness are very important to me. A lot of other stuff isn't. Be that right or wrong.
My "TO -DON'T" List:
- I don't cook everyday. When I cook I cook for a small army and eat off of it for days.
- I don't do a things for free anymore. I used to do A LOT of photography for free. It took up SO much precious time (coordinating with the people, driving to a location, taking the photos, driving back, endless hours editing and perfecting, uploading, etc) and sometimes I never received so much as a friggin' "thank you" for it. I started to resent it. I have stopped doing that.
- I don't go to "parties" where people are trying to sell me things anymore.No more Pampered Chef, Scentsy, Thirty-One, etc.
- I'm really bad about sending Birthday and Christmas cards. Oh, and Easter... Father's Day... Mother's Day, etc. Also, I don't remember anyone's anniversaries. I'm the worst.
- I'm not crafty. I don't do DIY projects. Like... ever.
- I don't wash or blow dry, or straighten, or curl my hair that often. A complete waste of time most days.
- I have at least 25,000 unread emails in my g-mail account. I skim for "real" ones and leave the rest. My work inbox is enough to handle. My g-mail is a joke.
- I don't listen to voice mails for weeks sometimes. I hate them. Not sure why, just do.
- I don't watch series on Netflix. I know nothing about Game of Thrones, Sons of Anarchy, Mad Men, Downtown Abbey, Breaking Bad, etc. I tried Orange is the New Black. Fail. I just can't commit.
- I keep a really clean house 90% of the time, but I don't give a shit about whether my car is dusty. I probably get it washed once a fiscal quarter.
- I don't take the time to match my socks.
- I don't spend time with people who are not right for me. I'll put the brakes on that shit quick fast. You live and you learn.
-Sometimes I am in such a hurry that I forget to put on deodorant. I keep some in my car's center console for such emergencies.
- I don't have children. A mother's job is NON-STOP. Props to you guys.
- I don't grocery shop that often. If I am at the supermarket chances are there is only ketchup in my refrigerator.
Some of the things on this list I am not proud of (ie: I'm REAL bad about birthday cards) and others I am exceptionally proud of. That is one of the beautiful things about getting older.... you get a chance to create your life. You weed out what does not serve you and focus more on what does. But... just because someone's focus is different, does not make it better. Remembering that would probably be helpful once in a while.
You never really know what other people are going through, so chill out and fight the urge to compare. Basically... stick to counting your own blessings.
You'll be a lot happier that way.