Dear, Precious Girl...

Shoes: Aldo, Jeans: Old Navy, Shirt: Versona, Earrings: Lotus, Bracelets: Gifts (thank you, Barb), Gemstone Ring: LeVian (my To: Me, From: Me 30th bday present)

Hey, Hey, Hey... long time, no "see".

I haven't blogged in 3 whole months!! Daaaayyyyyyuuummm.

In part because I have been busy with other things. Also (and probably in larger part due to the fact that) until it gets warm out, I don't give a shit about getting dressed. I hate fall/winter clothes. I live in yoga pants and resent any and every occasion that forces me out of them. Now that it's heating up though (and my insides are coming back to life), I'm back.

In the time that I wasn't blogging I had two interactions that made me sit back and think about the content of today's post.

#1. I met a young girl who lives across the street from my family in my hometown. She is in high school. She is  athletic, talented, so pretty and sensitive. I knew all of those things the moment I met her. I do not know her well, but I felt very connected to her immediately.

#2. I spent time with my sister-in-law's niece who is a young teenager. She is still figuring herself out, stuck somewhere between a child and becoming a woman and dealing with other girls in school who aren't always nice to her. She too is sweet, smart and beautiful.

I saw a little bit of my younger self in both of these sweet girls and I got to thinking about a couple of things.

#1. Time passes SO quickly. It blows my mind to think that I am more than 20 years older than these girls. The days are long, but GOT damn the years are short.

#2. Things seem so BIG when you are in the middle of them. Your whole life is whatever town you live in, the school you go to, the boy or girl who has broken your heart and your insecurities; it is insanely difficult to see your life beyond its current state.

So I got to thinking about what I wish I knew when I was a teenager, or maybe things I would go back and tell my younger self, or things I would tell my daughter if I had one.

1. Don't ever step foot into a tanning bed. You look ridiculous with a tan in the winter and it will catch up with you. Believe it or not, you will turn 30, 40, 50, etc.

2. Please don't smoke.

3. Thank your parents for paying your bills, for feeding you, for going to your games/plays/etc and for carting your ass around.

4. Social Media... share, relate, but don't air your dirty laundry and please, for God's sake... keep your ass covered. 

5. There is this thing called "the cloud" and nothing you post online or send is ever really "gone".

6. Don't talk shit about people. If you would not say it to their face, or want it said about you... zip it.

7. EVERYone has insecurities. Remember that when you think you are alone.

8. Don't slouch (literally or figuratively). Train yourself to stand up straight and walk tall. Carry yourself with confidence. ALWAYS.

9. Exercise for strength not to punish your body.

10. What you think, you become. That is real shit, so I will say it again. WHAT YOU THINK, YOU BECOME.

11. Read. Always be able to answer when someone asks... "Read any good books lately?"

12. Floss.

13. Jealousy and envy are a waste of your precious time and energy. If you are jealous of someone else, it means you are busy counting their blessings and not yours. Knock it off.

14. Everything changes. Be thankful when things are good and stay hopeful when things are not so good.

15. Don't date a person who says shit like... "Don't ever cut your hair."

16. Support your friends.

17. Don't you ever, ever, stop hanging out with your girlfriends when you start dating someone. Do NOT be that girl. EVER. Ever. Ever.

18. Make your own money. Always.

19. Smile. You'll feel better. 

20. Drinking too much is not cute.

21. Always have more than one income stream, always.

22. Don't be afraid to reinvent yourself.

23. Wear what you want to wear.

24. Break up with people who aren't good for you. Partners, friends, whatever. Life is short.

25. Live by yourself at least once in your life.

26. Be the person who sees the good in people.

27. People will show you how they feel about you. Actions trump words. Always.

28. Travel.

29. You will get your heartbroken and you will be okay. Eventually.

30. Trust your gut. If it "feels" wrong, it probably is.

31. You can love yourself and work on yourself at the same time. 

32. Explore LOTS of different things.

33. If you're good at something, help other people with it. If you are not, ask for help.

34. Most of the time, happiness is a choice. If you're always feeling sorry for yourself you will live an unhappy life. Guaranteed.

35. This too shall pass.

36. You will attract what you believe yourself to be. Water seeks it's own level. Be your best-self and you will attract someone who thinks just as highly of you. 

37. If you are thinking something nice about someone, say it. They may really need to hear it.

38. Pay your bills first.

39. Don't over-pluck your eyebrows.

40. Don't be afraid to call yourself a feminist. A secure man should not be surprised that you think yourself equal. There are beautiful differences in the sexes, but you should damn sure get paid for doing the same work.

41. Make sure your friends don't all look, act and think like you.

42. There will always be people with more than you and people with less.

43. Read, watch and do things that force you to think.

44. Not everyone is for you and you are not for everyone and that is perfectly okay.

45. Understand that you are much, much more than your body.

46. Develop your mind, love people with your huge heart and be an interesting person to talk to. 

47. Eat more plants.

48. If someone you are in a romantic relationship with keeps you a secret, move on. 

49. Don't have a baby with someone if you wouldn't want that baby to grow up to be just like their father (or mother).

50. Don't put yourself into a box. You can own 47 red lipsticks, curl your hair, dead lift twice your body weight, bake muffins and know how to replace an engine in a car. There are no "boy" things or "girl" things... there are only things.

51. Not everyone gives and receives love the same way.

52. Your time on this earth is precious. Don't waste it wishing you were different. Figure out who you want to be and create habits that get you closer to your goals. You are what you repeatedly do.

53. You are remarkable.

54. Social media is a highlight reel. That's it.

55. Fight the urge to shrink.

56. Work hard at something you love. 

57. Alcohol and drugs will not solve your problems, but they will most definitely add to them.

58. Bullies usually hate themselves, not you.

59. You can be whatever you want. Live wherever you want. Do whatever you want.

60. Be content, but do not settle. Baby girl... do NOT settle.

61. The things that break your heart are not accidents. Stand up for what breaks your heart... women's issues, animals, children. Those things are the things God placed delicately on your soul and they are not by accident.

62. Do not apologize for being sensitive. Sensitivity and strength are not mutually exclusive. 

63. Pray and give thanks.

64. Don't waste your life dieting. Worry more about losing yourself than you worry about losing weight. 

65. Call your grandparents.

66. For the sake of all things holy, put your phone down when you're talking to people.

67. It ain't over til it's over.

On any given day you can wake up and decide to write your own story. It does not matter what happened to you, what your parents did or did not do, if you had money or were flat broke. It does not matter what town you are from, what mistakes you learned from, who doubted you, or who talked shit about you. Your life is yours. Do NOT let anyone else's opinion of you dictate how you show up in it. You are given one, single, precious life. Make yourself proud, mama. Make yourself so fucking proud.  

1 comment:

  1. totally loved reading this Mel. have fun in Vegas :-)