Welcome to my personal style blog. My hope is that what you see from my closet inspires you to dig through yours to find new life in what you have and how you wear it. Of course what you have on doesn't define who you are, but it can make you feel better and sometimes all we need in order to do better, is to feel better. Friends often tease me by saying that I dress as if every day is a special occasion. To which I reply..."because it is".
Shirt: Ivy & Leo, Shorts and Flip flops: Old Navy, Purse: Target, Cross: Jared
YO YO YO!!!!!
Long time, no blog. It’s been so long in fact that the other day I mentioned that I wrote a blog and felt like a damn liar.
SO much has happened in the months since I last checked in so I’ll start in chronological order.
I had surgery in May. Actually the day after my last post, on May 5th.
More specifically, I got a breast reduction. YUP. True story.
wanted one for over 20 years. Ever since I got boobs. Because when I got
them… I GOT them! When I went
in for surgery I was an “E”. I mean…. I bought DDD bras because I
could not bring myself to actually buy an “E” bra, but that’s exactly
what I was. <<Pretty sure spilling out of one size means you should
actually size up.>> Most of the people in my life had NO idea I was that "large and in charge"
because I NEVER left the house without a minimizer bra on (yes, those are real things and they SUCK) and if I was
working out I would wear 2-3 sports bras at one time. I always joked
that I stored half of my boobs under my armpits.
I never really “lead” with them if you know what I am saying. I didn’t
wear push-up bras or enhancing bras. Shiiit, I never even really wore a
normal bra for fear that I would look like Dolly Parton. I hated them.
Maybe you don’t care about my breast
reduction, but maybe you do. Maybe you too have always wanted one or
know someone who does. Maybe your back hurts, your posture suffers, you
don’t feel “sexy”, they are in the way, you hate having to wear a bra
that feels more like a mid-century torture device.
So… here are a few things you should know.
#1. It is WAAAAAAAAAY more intense than getting breast implants (or so my doctor told me).
I was in surgery for over 5 hours!!
#2. Recovery is NO joke.
You can barely do anything but exist for a while because you are so sore.
#3. Make sure you get a pain medication you can tolerate.
ONE dose of my narcotics right after surgery and that was it. For a
month I took ibuprofen and extra-strength Tylonol. I can’t handle
narcotics (I get dizzy, nauseous, feel faint) but I
bet they would have been tremendously helpful with pain management had I
been able too.
#4. Strengthen your core.
Workout before surgery and get strong.
Had it not been for my regular Pilates practice I would have been even
more miserable than I was. You can’t put any pressure on your elbows or
hands to get into or out of bed. Your upper
body is basically useless so your core is going to do all of the work
for a while.
#5. Let people help you. There were days that started okay for me
then I would be FLAT on my back in insane amounts of pain after a few
hours. You need to let people help you. << A big thank you to
everyone who helped me and checked in on me. Especially Amanda D., Elizabeth H. and my Manfriend. >>
#6. Make sure you REALLY want it.
It’s painful, expensive AF (if
insurance won’t cover it), takes a lot of time to recover, takes you out
of your normal life, impacts your everyday life for a while, there are
stitches, blood, scabs, scars and still…
3 months post-op it’s not comfortable for me to lie on my side or on my
stomach to sleep. I had to learn to sleep on my back which was
Those are some points to consider.
Would I do it all over again?
Hell yes. My breasts aren’t “small” afterwards but they fit me. They
don’t plummet to my waist anymore when I take my bra off. I can see my
torso for the first time in my life. I can sit
and stand up straight w/o feeling like I’m drawing unwanted attention to
chest. I can work out with more ease and my bras don’t have to have 4
clasps on them with straps the width of a child's forearm. Yes, ma'am. I would daaaayyyum sure do it
all over again.
June was INNNNNNNNcredible.
We traveled to Vegas (I was still
REALLY sore, only 4 weeks out from surgery), I visited home to see my
family in NY, we went on an all-expenses-paid trip to the most beautiful
place I have ever been in my whole, entire life, Banff Springs
in Calgary Canada (I earned that trip for us through my side-gig with
Rodan + Fields) AND ………wait for it………. while I was in NY with my family…. I
<<If we know each other in real life, are connected on
social media, or if you’ve been reading this blog
for a while you have heard me refer to my “Manfriend”. >> We have been
together for over 6 years. I was completely shocked by the proposal. He
had it all planned to do in Charlotte, then like an ASSHOLE I booked
myself a plane ticket to New York for that exact
same weekend. I didn’t ask him to come (I didn’t assume a baby shower,
maternity photos and skincare – which is what I was going for - would
be a rip-roaring good time for him). Little did I know that he had
planned the proposal, had my friend invite me to
a girl’s night out for that Saturday night (so I would save the date and not plan over
it), rested easy when he saw that I put “GNO” on my calendar then
FREAKED out when I erased it two weeks later
and wrote instead… “flying to NY”. He had to re-work his entire plan.
ended up flying to NY a day after me, hiding out at my uncle's house, getting my local
family together last-minute and doing it in front of everyone. I
was completely shocked. IT.WAS.AWESOME. I was in tears, sobbing like a
We have been through a lot in 6 years,
as individuals and as a couple and although in the last few years I
realized that I didn’t “need” marriage, that happiness was
more than enough…. I am overjoyed and so incredibly thankful. I am here to tell
you... no matter what has happened to you, no matter
how your life has derailed from your original plans, no matter how sad
or broken you feel, if you focus on creating and (re)building the best
version of yourself you will, eventually, be happy. Once you are happy
and fulfilled… the minute you don’t “need” something
or someone. The moment you give up the idea that you can “control” it
all… something magical will happen. Whether it’s a relationship, a job,
an opportunity, whatever it is. That sounds corny, I know, but I truly
believe it and know it to be true.
Work, work, work, work, work (…. I hope you said that to
the tune of the Rihanna song cause that’s how I meant it).
was BACK TO REALITY. I worked my fool a$$ off in July. No more days off
from my corporate job, I went back to teaching
Pilates (after 8 weeks off after surgery), my Rodan + Fields business
had its biggest month yet, I had 3 photography sessions with
families and spen tcountless hours editing AND I finally sold and closed on my townhome. July was a blur and although I was feeling insanely happy from
vacations and an engagement and I was SUPER happy
to be back teaching Pilates I’m not going to lie… there was a bit of a
hangover from all of it. June was blissful. I was so FKing happy that it
scared the life out of me. In July fear overtook my head. I felt
almost like the bottom was going to fall out.
Like…. "wait... other people get this much happiness, but not me". My mind got the
best of me and I started to get down and really anxious in July. I started
focusing on my fears instead of my countless blessings. I say that not
to be a buzz-kill but to keep it real. I think
it’s important to mention.
With social media it’s easy to think that everyone else is SUPER
happy; especially in the summer. There are cookouts, and vacations, lake
days, beach trips, new houses, kids out for the summer, your teacher
friends posting about how they don’t have to
work, people celebrating and sharing pictures of parties, engagement
announcements, weddings, pregnancies, births, kids going to college,
etc. It’s all awesome, but WHOA can it trap you?!?! You start to compare
your real, everyday life with everyone else's highlight
reel. It can make you feel like crap.
There is no such thing as perfect
and the person who seems to “have it all” has usually come out of some
MAJOR SHIT, works REALLY hard, has failed a million times, gets scared,
nervous, anxious and discouraged just like
everyone else. We all have “seasons” in our lives. Some are incredible.
Blissful. Some are terrifying. Others are full of change and upheaval.
Once in a while they are calm and peaceful. Many times they are stressful,
depressing, disappointing and nerve-wracking.
I know I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, but I
thought maybe you (like me) could use reminding. Count your own
blessings instead of everyone else’s. You have no idea the path they
have traveled or what it took for them to get where they are. Congratulate people when they are high and love them when they are low, but don't compare. Comparison is the thief of joy, man.