Old Lady Defensive

I felt my age today. Like one of those days where you think to yourself... "How in the hell is it possible that I am 33 years old?" "Wasn't I just a high school senior, or AT LEAST a college senior????" Maybe the age thing hit me because my day started with a 22 year old commenting on my "crazy" outfit (like I'm a crazy old lady who only dares to mix prints and black with brown because I'm out of touch and don't "know" better), and ended with a 17 year old "hollerin'" at me. Instead of being flattered, I just thought... "Boy... I could be your MAMA". (No lie. I could have been. My Mom was my age when I was his. True Story.)

So I walk into work today and up to the desk of this sweet young girl that I have been training (I call her young because she is 11... count 'em...11 years younger than me!). Before she even says "Hi" she smiles and says.... "Oh.... thaaaaat's a riskaaaaay outfit!!!" "Riskay" I thought... what the frig'?!?!?!....my skirt is to my knees, I am wearing long sleeves, and this necklace covers up any glimpse of cleavage that may have been visible otherwise. Then she says...."wearing black AND brown together, and prints WITH stripes....riskaaaay". I guess this a bit of a traditional "rule breaker" outfit, but so be it. I have worn it a hundred times before and every time I say the same thing. If you are apprehensive about mixing prints, try doing it in the same color combo, and if you are worried about mixing black and brown, make sure your brown is a bit on the tan/camel side (as opposed to a shitty dark brown). She is sweet and totally meant well, but there was a second there where I felt myself get all old lady defensive. Like..."Chick... this is GROWN woman print mixing. Get at me in 10 years."


As I was leaving work, a 17 (or so) year old kid with dark sunglasses on and pants hanging straight off his ass comes up to me and starts scuking his teeth making some weird "purr" sound. Talking about... "You Bad Girl... Giiiiirl... you know you bad. Damn. I'll take two of you". Maybe I am too old to get that approach, but does that really work? Following a girl, giving her creepy ass "compliments"??? I kept walking paying him no mind, but what I WANTED to do was turn around and said..."Kid... you couldn't handle me. Get outta here with that senior high pep rally approach. I have a 401K and a mortgage!"

Which leads me back to feeling old. I have a 401K... and a mortgage. How in the hell did that happen?


  1. Heather Meehan8/29/2013 3:07 AM

    I just love reading these! I can relate to you! Very often (lately) I have found myself in various public situations thinking (omg act your age or I never acted that bad when I was a teenager) then I'm like.... Wait how old am I now? Omg!!! But even though I am a "woman in my 30s" now, I wouldn't trade or give up anything in my life to be "that young" again. And by the way Mel, that outfit is fan- friggentastic! You rock :-)

  2. LOL

    I just think you look hot.