|Shirt: H&M, Pants: Khols, Shoes and Purse: ShoeDazzle, Earrings: Francescas, Ring: Aldo Accessories, Bracelet: a gift from Target|
Have you ever had a REALLY uncomfortable exchange with a stranger? Like... one that makes you want to punch them in the face and then blow your own head off to make it stop????
I had one on Saturday. I went to a new nail place just to get a polish change (when I paint my own they end up looking like a blind falcon with a broken talon, mid-seizure painted them). There was a serious traffic jam which prevented me from going to my regular place. Anyway... I sat down with this woman. She immediately started in with the routine "getting to know you" questions. ie: Do you live close by? Where are you from? Are you married? Kids? What do you do? I replied with....
Yes, I live close by and told her the name of my neighborhood. I am originally from Upstate NY, but have lived here for 11 years. No, I am not married. I have a long-term boyfriend. No kids. Not sure that I will have them. I am a technology recruiter for the corporate headquarters for a bank uptown. She proceeded to break me the hell down. It went like this... "Oh... you live in a fancy neighborhood, you must be rich. You are rich with a big house and no one to fill it. No husband????!!!??? WHY? Why Not??? You don't believe in marriage? You don't love each other? No kids? Why, no kids? You one of those women who hate kids? So... you live for yourself and just do fun things with your boyfriend all day? You make a lot of money at your job? I bet you do. What do you spend it on? Just you? No kids. No husband. Big house. You just care about money. Not making a difference in the world? Kids make a difference in the world. You don't want to make a difference.
I shit you not. I am not exaggerating one word. ARE YOU EFFIN' SERIOUS???????? It was all I could do not to get up and leave. Initially I thought... hmmm... maybe there is just a cultural etiquette difference or a language barrier (she is from Vietnam, but has lived in the US for 20 years), but then I realized... uh, no. She was being an asshole and judging the shit out of me. You had to be there to hear the sarcastic tone in her voice, the eye roll when I responded, and the uneasy, demeaning laughter every.muthatrucking.time I opened up my mouth to respond. I wanted to punch her in the teeth.
Luckily, a woman sat down right next to me and struck up a conversation with me. She said... "I couldn't help but hear you say that you don't have any children. I think it's wonderful when women don't apologize for that. It's a lot of work and it's not for everyone. I hate when women make other women feel shame about their personal choices." SAY WHAT???!!!!???? Thaaaank you, Geezus. She went on to say that she and her fiance just moved here from New Jersey. He is a truck driver and she sells insurance (100% commission based). They have a 2 year old little boy. It's been hard since they moved here, with the expense of starting over, etc. They decided that their son will be their first and last child.They love him, but parenting is hard and they want to be able to afford to take vacations again and give him the best life possible. She said that this was her first manicure since she moved here (in December). She doesn't have extra money to spend on herself so today was a real treat.
So... when I went to pay for my polish change, I also paid for her services. I did it, said goodbye and ducked out. Before I did though, the woman who checked me out (who was the same beotch who spent the last 30 minutes making me feel like trash) looked up at me, sheepishly, and simply said... "I guess you are not so selfish after all". Well, that was a back-handed compliment if I ever heard one. I wanted to scream. To tell her that my life was not one of privilege growing up, that shit was hard, that my mom was SUPER young when she had me and that I saw how hard it was to work, to raise good kids, to make a living, to have a relationship, etc. I saw marriages fail. Money was tight... always. I wouldn't change my childhood for the world, but that shit shapes you. I know for a fact that marriage does not always equal love. That kids don't always equal instant happiness for everyone. I know that some things are forever, and others are not. No, one path is right for everyone. Who the hell was this woman??? She did not even know me. At all. She just made up her mind about me, treated me like dirt, laughed at me, and I left. I could NOT stop thinking about her. I made up in my mind that she was just being hateful because she is unhappy. I don't know any happy people who go out of their way to make other people feel like shit. So... I decided to let it go. Whatever.
I got to a place of peace with it all. I actually ended up feeling a bit bad for her. BUT... that doesn't mean I don't want to go back, stick my foot into the aisle when she walks by and trip her one good time. Actually I'd love to do that, and I haven't decided that I'm above it.