5.22.2014

Grammar Gangsta







Shirt: Banana Republic, Skirt: Target, Bag: Aldo, Necklace: Lotus, Bracelets: Alex & Ani (I can't remember where I got the other one, it was years ago), Shoes: Shoedazzle.com
The English language is a ridiculously confusing one. It is the only language I speak fluently (unless sarcasm counts) and even though I have taken English classes my entire life (and even taught it for a short time) I am well aware that at times, I butcher it. Brutally butcher it. Rules around whoever vs. whomever.... who vs. which vs. that... prepositions... punctuation... capitalization, etc.  This list of rules is nauseating.

Maybe that's why I choose to write a blog. There are no rules in blogging. I write like I speak; which, half of the time is like a moron... and that's okay. I say all of this to say, that it is EXTREMELY rare for me to call someone out when they make a grammatical error. I wouldn't ever do it to someone I barely knew, especially in front of people. That is... unless... you try to school ME in front of people and YOU are dead wrong. WHIIIIIICH.... happened to me today.

I was having a conversation with a girl I used to work with (and two other girls she was with). I saw her as I was walking from my office down the street to get my lunch. She was asking me about Pilates and telling me that she was interested in taking some classes. I was telling her about a workshop I'm going to be co-teaching with my friend (and my Pilates teacher), Gayle. I said... "YES... you should come! It will be fun... you will learn a lot... it's perfect for someone just starting out, etc. Come practice with Gayle and me."

She looked at me, then her two friends, laughed a little and said... "Ummm... I think you mean Gayle and I, Melissa? Didn't we learn that in like, 3rd grade? Hahahaha.... "

UMMMMMMMM?????? Hold up! I'm sorry???? You did NOT just call me out (in front of two strangers) when it is you who are wrong, chick!?!?!??!?! I looked at her and paused. I made sure I gave her a real hard screw-face (as if to say, WhhhaaaDaFuuuuk????) and then I calmly said, "No, I did not misspeak." She just looked at me and said... "Uhhh...ooookay????" (in this really condescending tone that made me want to scratch her fool eyes out). So... I schooled her real quick and told her a trick (instead of punching her in the mouth, which is what I wanted to do).

Here's the rule. If you are ever confused around whether to use "I" or "me" make the sentence singular. For example...

"Grandpa and I like to go fishing." That is correct. If you wanted to make sure, drop the other person out of it... you would say "I like to go fishing" NOT "Me like to go fishing". It's the same use singular or plural.

Just like today...

"Come practice with Gayle and me." If Gayle were out of the picture I would have said... "Come practice with me." I would NOT have said "Come practice with I".

Or... and people do this ALL of the time on Facebook when they post pictures.

"This is a picture of my husband and I on vacation." Wrong. You would not say, "This is a picture of I on vacation." You would say, "This is a picture of me on vacation." So... you would want to say, "This is a picture of my husband and me on vacation."

I think using "I" all of the time was beaten into our heads as little kids so that now we think that using "me" is wrong. It's not. Now you know the easy way to remember it.

If you already knew that rule (or simply don't give a damn), I am sorry you wasted your time reading this post. If you did not know it and regularly jack it all up, you're welcome. If someone had shared that little tip with the girl I had a run in with today, maybe she could have saved herself from being on the receiving end of my long, hard, bitchy, screw-face stare.






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