|Dress: Some Boutique in Cornelius, Earrings and Ring: Lotus, Clutch: Shop Olive Online, Watch: Michael Kors|
1. I wore this dress this past weekend. I bought it off season (last winter) at some boutique on super duper sale. It was a $120 dress that I scored for... wait for it... $19 bucks! Not a typo. Nineteen US dollars. BOOM! It was the last one they had and it was labeled "One Size Fits All". Really?! I almost didn't even try it on because the tag was so annoying. How is that even a thing? It makes zero sense. "One Size Fits All." That is some bullshit if I have ever heard it.
2. There is no doubt in my mind that women and men are completely different. None more different perhaps than my manfriend and me. For example:
- He is a carnivore (biiiiiig time). I'd be okay if I never ate meat again.
- He can get ready to leave the house (and look damn fine) in 8 minutes. Me... not so much.
- I'm a clean freak. Him... not so much.
- He likes action movies. I like movies that move me to tears.
- I like words. He likes numbers. Numbers make me sweat. I can barely divide.
- I like the sun. He likes the shade.
- I like veggies. His idea of a salad is if lettuce and tomato come on his burger.
- I much prefer text/e-mail and loathe talking on the phone. If you e-mail him, expect a response mid-2017.
- He is a total gadgets guy and could build me a fully functioning computer complete with Skype capabilities out of leftover parts from a toaster. I can barley figure out how to put my phone on silent.
If I am craving ice cream, the only thing I forget to do is put it away before my spoon hits the empty cardboard bottom. I may "forget" to put chocolate sauce on top of it because I am too busy housing it, but I would never forget it was in the freezer?!?!? I may forget that getting a plastic spoon from the grocery store and eating it in my car at stop lights is not socially acceptable, but I would not forget to eat it. I swear I would hear it calling to me every time I entered the kitchen. "Melissa... come save me from this cold freezer. I'd be much more comfortable in your warm, 98.6 degree belly... that is, before I transfer to my permanent resting place...the back of your thighs. Which leads me to our last, and perhaps most infuriating difference.
- He has ABS. Son of a B...