|Romper and Earrings: Lotus (coupon code: MODA for 15% off), Clutch: Aldo, Shoes: Guess, Pearl Rings: Versona, Blue Ring: LeVian from Jared|
So, I've been very aware lately of a rather sad, and somewhat disturbing fact.
That most women apologize... a lot. For everything. All of the time. Instead of saying "excuse me" we say... "I'm sorry'. If you run into someone and they are not wearing make-up, or if they are in sweats... "Ugh... sorry I look like such shit." Invite someone over for dinner only to realize they don't eat or like something that is being served? Chances are they are going to apologize for not eating it, or the hostess is going to apologize for making it... or both! (You may as well apologize for not being a psychic.) Did a waiter screw up your order? Yes? Then why are you saying "I'm sorry"?? Say "it's okay... it's not a big deal", but "I'm sorry"? What in the world did you do (besides ask for no cheese on your burger.. it is a restaurant)?
Have you ever been walking down a narrow side walk and someone stops to let you by.... "Oh, I'm sorry" as you rush by them. Ever used the printer at work, or the sink/microwave in the break room and someone comes up behind you waiting to use it. "Oh... I'm sorry. I'll be done in just a sec." Late to meet someone because there was a 4 car pile up on the highway. "I am SO sorry". No. Why not just let them know you're running behind because of something out of your control and sincerely thank them for their patience when you arrive 7 whole minutes late. It is not your fault that there was an accident on the road.
Do you have a child? Man, poor moms. Many feel like they have to apologize for everything. Is the kid crying? "I'm sorry." Screeching happily while they are playing? "I'm sorry." Cranky? Miss nap time? "Sorry... sorry... so sorry." It's a kid. If someone is being an asshole to you because your kid isn't acting like etiquette coach at 2 years old, screw them. Is your house a mess? Dishes not done? Have your roots grown out 3 inches? Still in the same yoga pants... on day three? "I'm sorry... it's just....." You are not sorry. Or at least you shouldn't be. You are doing a lot. All day, every day. You are keeping a human alive and trying to teach him/her to be a kind, smart, generous human being. Who gives a crap about the dishes. And that goes for women who do nto work outside of the house as well. You're not sitting around giving yourself a friggin manicure all day. Right? Or working moms... my gosh... you're getting up early, fighting traffic, dealing with a boss, co-workers, trying to find clothes that don't have formula spit-up on them, or that fit your body (one that is completely different ever since it gave birth to another human being). Maybe you're trying to fit in a workout once every blue moon, be a wife or partner, spend time with your child, and your friends (especially the childless friends whom you rarely see... and you feel bad about that). It's A LOT and you do not have to be sorry that you cannot clone yourself and be all things to all people all the time... oh, and be a size 4 with perfect hair who happens to be up to date on the state of international foreign affairs. You're doing the best you can, and it's damn good. Shit. Stop saying you are sorry. You're a rock star.
I'm not saying that people should not be polite to one another. I am a big believer in being kind and gracious, but apologizing for everything really takes away 1.) the significance of the words, and 2.) your power. It feels meek and insignificant. As if you don't have as much right to walk down the street, heat up your lunch, have your baby with you in the grocery store (who the hell else is going to get the groceries).
Now... if your cell phone goes off full blast in the middle of a movie when you were supposed to turn it off??? Then for god's sake... say you're sorry to the 10 people around you who paid for the movie. That was a bit of a dick move. The previews remind you no less than 400 times to turn your device on silent. Double check that shit, would ya?
Anyway... it may not seem like a big deal, but I've noticed that it is not something that men really do. They say... "excuse me"... "be finished up here in just a few minutes"... "thank you for your patience"... but they do not often overuse the words "I'm sorry". As women most of us have a default setting and it's called GUILT. Most men don't automatically default to guilt. They do not shrink, cower thier heads, apologize for exiting. Many of us do.
I just feel like I have been noticing it a lot lately and figured I'd talk about it. If it's not ever brought to our attention we may continue doing it, and worse... we may teach our daughters to do the same thing... and that's not cool. Ditch the crutch of saying "I'm sorry". It's a bad habit. If you are constantly minimizing yourself... the rest of the world will follow suit. You teach people how to treat you. Right? Right.
In other news (on the off chance that you are still reading this)... I got this romper at Lotus, my MOST favorite boutique in the whole world. Now... Lotus is in Charlotte, NC, which used to suck for those of you who do not live here. I say used to because Lotus is now online, AND if you buy anything from their online store and use the code MODA at checkout, you will get 15% off your purchase. The coupon starts today and ends.... NEVER!!!!!! As in NEVAH-EVAH. BOOM BITCHES!